Thursday, November 7, 2013


A Halloween party is something I've always wanted to be invited to but haven't because my name is Australia and Halloween ain't our thing, I guess we didn't have a whole lot of time to burn witches, basically as soon as we moved in we oppressed a majority which is now an obselete minority, hunted trees to the brink of extinction and fucked a lot of very handsome creatures who are still great at jumping.

I guess we could have made a celebration about vigilantes with the whole Ned Kelly thing but we were never that sentimental.

Halloween, or by it's true name 'The Wiccaning' is a celebration focused on being empathetic to all those poor women who got no Vitamin D but in exchange became powerful in the 'dark arts'. By dark arts people instantly associate black magic, corruption and darkness, but I think most of what the Wiccan did was fairly benign and like with the war on piracy America just decided to oppress them because they were different. Women being smart was highly difficult for men to take back in those days because like Republicans today they were mostly narcissistic pricks.

Also thanks America for destroying the future of magic as we know it, you dumb wads of shit.

Anyway, that's all water under the bridge now that the entire country is under the blackmail of the republic and Democracy as well as Tax Payers and Pensioners are dying in gutters. I know, it's tragic and I have several friends from the US who I feel sorry for.

Essentially the whole country is fucked, a superpower destroyed by its own greed and hubris, how ironic. Think you were hard done by in 9/11 and Connecticut? Just wait until the Repubes start taking away poor peoples rights and become an autocrat thanks to political blackmail.

Sometimes I look at things my country does wrong, and sigh a bit before realizing it doesn't matter anymore because America has already done or will do something dumber, outside of my few friends I'm actually sort of looking forward to the destruction of the United States, anyone I care about is smart enough to move to Canada and I'd be happy for those republicans to be by themselves on that landmass, however some scary thoughts come with this change.

First off, Republicans are fucking dangerous and I don't want those mentally unstable jackoffs near the worlds largest supply of nuclear warheads. Also they might be able to sustain themselves if they ignore the debts to other countries, which I hope they do because it's going to get them into trouble and these guys need to suffer.

However, innocent lives will be lost and anyone who supported the Republic now has blood on their hands. There's two ways I can see this going.

The sane Americans leave the US and it becomes a HUB for the Republic, which despite how bad that sounds, is favorable in comparison to option 2.

The other way this could go is civil war and one of the largest and most unbalanced in Human history. I'm not on top of much of the politics over there but I'm willing to assume the republic is a majority, the majority of America (at least 85%) is of christian faith, now it only takes 25% of that to be zealots who vote in republicans to prove the bible right by bringing about the apocalypse to already have a large war, and despite me coining it such it will be a war that's far from civil.

First, you have the scum of the earth who oppress rights and let money guide every action they make, and then you have the people left who are struggling to get by with outlandish taxes and the usual band of high ranking government officials breathing down their neck.

I'm not sure who owns the command of the Military over their but god I hope it isn't a republican, because that's china all over again, plus the packs of rampaging zealots, all of the smart people who remain will be eradicated, letting America live up to it's name.

Then what? Well the hope is that whether the bad coin of option one or 2 and the republic gets its way, they'll die out because they won't be able to pay back the international debts they owe and so either they'll continue paying and as we hope, will swiftly go bankrupt, or they'll oppose all their shareholders, this will bring an end to them even quicker, which is sort of what I want. If they turn their back on all the other countries they've been buying from they'll be cut from resources from all parts of the globe but also endanger any chances they have with future loaners, this might bring them a world war on their turf which against every other superpower and without smart people, they will lose. But no matter what happens America has no hope of repaying it's debt and the republicans are only furthering the destruction of the country for their monetary gain which ironically, they'll lose all of in the end, regardless.

However America has been a useful superpower and it scares me to think what the world might become if there's no goody two shoes to step in when aid is needed. However the republicans being in house won't help much with the superpower thing, Obama might have done a few silly things but god damn at least he cares. I mean why don't we elect George Bush again because wow that went so well last time. Don't even get me started on Ronald Regan or Nixon, both of which were Republicans.

Here's a video on the subject matter which is brilliant in satire and is the reason I'm posting this.

So yeah there's that. I'll be talking about snobby people later and make some flawed arguments about why Calamari rings are something we should be grateful for.

(I wrote this back before shit got sorted out with the Republicans so for now... the worry is over.)


Was on youtube earlier today and saw this...




Har... aha harr.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Purposefully belated Console rundown

This is a subject I wanted to broach and I figure that doing it four months after everyone has had their fun, been given a chance to be proven wrong and than have their fun again was an ideal way to not get knocked ajar by talking shit about developers of each console.

So at this years E3 each big wig announced their consoles, Sony with the linear divinity of the Playstation 4, Microsoft with their Original Xbox but pumped with Call of Duty and loads of features that are more omens and devils than actual things people care about, and the WiiU because Nintendo have never liked numbers anyway.

Now before I begin I didn't watch E3 but for the record I sort of wish I would have now just to see Sony publicly shame Microsoft on the stage of public ire.

So like most of my posts this is going to be bickering based on the subjective viewing of others and shouldn't be taken seriously abloohdy bloohdy blah.

I really must applaud Sony not only for keeping Linear with Sequential numbering but also for being savvy enough to mock Microsoft on stage for an hour in lieu of actually talking about things to do with the Playstation 4, but I think regardless of that Microsoft have already fallen flat to Sony's heel, and while everyone's cheering on Sony I think Microsoft is mostly at fault, it's getting pretty clear a company is becoming corrupt when a constantly on spy-camera and unnecessary restrictions are being advertised as features.

Sony may be daft at times but they do seem to have their heart in the right place while still innovating in ways to make their console attractive since consoles have become relatively redundant in recent years.

Previously consoles were administered to be a cheap effective way of gaming but with Computer's expanding and the consistency of which computers are keeping consoles out of date they've become to dedicated PC owners what cellhpones have become to people with smartphones.

It's clear that consoles as simply a game device isn't selling thanks to the difference in pricing between a big end PC and a dedicated console not being incredibly marginal, and a PC also has more than just games to it. So while Sony has gone with social media WiiU has just started flicking its IP's at people again because in the words of the wise, old habits die hard.

Though while the majority of Nintendo's reveals were predictable I've come to be more forgiving of them because they still make games which are fun, which is more than I can say for the entirely of XBOX's exclusive market.

Social Media I'm okay with and the PS4 is the only console I'll probably end up buying, though I'm not pre-ordering it because it turns out that buying it 4 years after it came out was the wisest move I've made in my life because when I got around to it there was a library of games and Ratchet & Clank became my favourite game franchise ever.

I'd advise holding off on pre-ordering a PS4 because by god did you ever fail to cherish the decision to pre-order a PS3. (insert obligatory no gaems joke here.)

So the only console I have any interest in I'm likely going to buy once it starts collecting dust and more than two games. Hee hee hee Bizarre Monkey you funny little cunt.

So enough about Sony, WiiU...

What did surprise me is that Nintendo are slowly but surely just packing their consoles and Handhelds into one, the WiiU features nintendo's fantastical brand of meaningless chronology, it also has a clucky caparaced difficult to operate controller to boot.

Oh but wait, motion controls are apparently good in this one so maybe I'll hold my mouth this time. Though I think the next rundown is only going to get lip though mainly just because no one will be able to prove me wrong for what I say and if they do it means they are defending a console which was laughed at for the first half of it's airing.

Woe is me.

But yes, the XboxOne, that is to say actually the third installment, not the 360th or the first is Microsoft's laughing stock of the century. I'd say looking back at even older history Microsoft have fucked up this badly or gotten themselves this much flak, even when they we're taken to court over copying a lot of the macintosh's design philosophy I don't think they ever looked this pathetic in the public eye.

Speaking of eyes and the public they apparently think that they have a right to spy on their sheep now and truth is they can and will to anybody stupid enough to buy their evil corporate maintenance machine. Again if you'r stupid enough to buy the XboxOne then I'm happy to let your hubris bite you in the ass.

Though if a Dad buys this for his son then I'm sorry for your enslavement, kid. If you ever break free of the subluminal haze feel free to tell your dad he's a tasteless tosser.

Speaking of palette it looks like this console might be the final nail in Microsfots console coffin, it's made blatantly obvious by how much they are overhyping games like Destiny and the new Call of Duty that this isn't going to go anywhere. At my local gamestore the pre-order XboxOne marketing is heavily shadowed by Call of Duty Ghost Ghetto or whatever it's called and I'm glad to see that not only is COD running out of ideas and is getting desperate but so is the Xbox.

Maybe once they get done with consoles they can go back to what they do best, releasing a good OS followed by a bad OS in perfect synthesis.

Even at its reveal the Xbox is failing, we don't even know how explosive the hardware is yet. It's new and improved Red Ring of Death might become the Green Grenade of Global Detonation.

Though that's likely an exaggeration, if the new RRoD doesn't bring atleast a decent household fire I'm not amused.

Though in all fairness it was mighty sporty of Microsoft to make it easy to decide which console not to buy this Gen.

That said I'm going to go a bit more into the eventual redundancy of consoles.

We're coming to an age where the only advance in CG graphics and animation is to reduce the cost and it's come to the point now where computers of high end specs are competing easily with consoles and shortly beyond the consoles release will have already out done them in the hardware aspect and in a lot of cases are easier to afford, whilst also having internet, the largest gaming library on the market, redundancy of older consoles by the way of emulations and lots of programs for purposes business, hobby or otherwise.

Consoles have essentially just become a money grab now and the XboxOne is going to an obscene effort to make this obvious. It's not like you can depend on them to outlast a computer now either what with a new generation every five or so years.

So essentially the choice comes down to buying a stripped down computer with limited and moderated internet access, a small library of games and that you'll upgrade once every five years, or if while spending 300 dollars you get a fully functional with unlimted free-roaming internet access and an impossibly large library of games on the Windows OS with support for modding, third party programs your own accountability if you fuck it up before it's lasted you five years.

Also consoles especially of the Xbox branding have a tendency to die well before a computer would.

Anyway, that's enough from me on all this, Biz out.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Talking shit about Youtube Celebrities (and the fans thereof more so.)

It's become fairly obvious to me that what people admire me doing is bashing other people because my vernacular and unfathomable disposition with human beings go well together, it might also have been that I was just bored enough to check my traffic figures.

Well regardless if that's true or not I'm here to talk shit about terrible people on youtube, or really the fans of them more so.

In fact while they are obnoxious beyond all manner of human irritation for me to listen to I can't help but applaud these no-talent clowns for making money out of doing essentially fuck all valuable with their life, though i think what really seals the deal is that they operate around the desires of stupid people.

That I'm okay with, punishing people for being retarded and gullible is something I can admire, but really you aren't punishing them your just punishing the ads or okay actually I have no idea how youtube monetization works but I assume that it's not from the watcher's wallets because if it did I think just about everyone would have an ad-blocker instead of the few exceptionally smart people, me being one of them.

That said they still have a legion of fans who will cater to their every whim but then you realise that the legion is afflicted by every mortal personality disorder and complex in the book.

To recap why I'm even broaching this topic I've recently been trolling Pewdiepie fans because his army is the biggest and his fans the most notorious for being objectively stupid in every department of human intelligence conceived.

It's come to a point where I can serve these numb skulls their own words for breakfast but frankly it's beginning to feel like they are doing most of the work for me by inserting themselves with the wheatley virus and mimmicking a mixture of Tom Preston and an aggressively zealous christian.

It's become very obvious to me that all of these people share an insecurity of being alone and not 'in' which is hilarious because thats a group of people intellectuals like myself avoid being any part of. Being 'in' means caving to popular demand and popular demand is outstandingly retarded these days... actually it always has been just people were a lot less gullible to human desire back in the 90's.

But it's popular demand on youtube that brings the money so if you want to spend your career in video editing getting rich of chumps then fine by me I guess.

Like I said it's not the people who do this sort of thing that are the real enemy, I blame the general populace for having terrible taste and wanting to be in. Yes thats right 89% of Humanity is responsible for this shit, you're also at fault for World of Warcraft still going, Activision and EA still making money and Nintendo still able to milk out replastered images of their previous games and get away with it.

Though I think I'll be taking a vow to Nintendo's side since while samey and uncreative their games are still fun and therefore have a reason to exist and in all fairness they have tried new IP's, but they ofcourse don't go anywhere and this again is your fault for caving to regularity.

Anyway back to bashing Pewdiefans and stuff, so as I was getting to before I got derailed I've recently been intellectually destroying people who serve Pewdiepie and they all have a glaring insecurity and it's not just a desire to be in.

To be in is part of it but essentially they want to feel loved because there parents don't love them or take part in their interests and they have no real friends cry-cry-cry.

I have no real friends either but I'm okay with it because I have plenty of cool friends on Skype who I've raised to actually be smart, at least smart enough to abandon yahoo or MSN and get skype, it's fairly obvious that Pewdiefans want to be bros and thus the terminology of the bro army is brought about.

It's too bad that their are also 13 million other bros in the family and that the bro king cares not at all for any of them.

See when you expose the logic of it being impossible for one man to share love and devotion to 13 million people it becomes not to difficult to get through to them that pewdiepie is just lining his pockets.

This is how I break people, I find out what their goals are and why they are doing what ever despicable act they are to achieve it and then I sweep therug out from under them and reveal to them it's all a big sham, sort of like Scientology except you only lost your dignity not your life savings as well.

When people come to fully beleive this realization they can't respect pewdiepie anymore because their initial reason for joining his addled army is entirely nulled by the fact that pewdiepie is just leeching money from their stupidity.

It's at this point they start doing what I have smugly been doing from the beginning, telling everyone that they're idiots and tools for watching pewdies videos.

Thankfully it seems that after all the effort to crush pewdiepie and other such celebrities their fanbases have started to die down. Some newer videos now not even getting 3 pages of comments.

This means humanity is slowly but surely growing out of its clinically retarded clique phase and it's good, we've all worked very hard for it, well the 11% of us who realized we were the smartest 11% on Earth.

It's hilarious when people retort with 13,000,000 subscribers being a good sign that I'm jealous

Yes, I suppose I should be jealous of having a legion of mentally challenged chopsticks who would obey every whim I so commanded about as well as a Croos eye hobbit with Alzheimer's disease will.

I should be but I already have a more managable fandom of people who will not only do as I wish, but do it competently. So far pewdiepiefans and that ilk of the 'in' crown tend to have the competence and reliability of a fat kid asked to watch over the store of chicken satays.

Where as my smaller troupe can not only coordinate their efforts efficiently but also actually get their jobs done. If you look hard enough you might find proof of said successful endevaours but I'm not going to link my successes here because the sites they were on no longer exist and also because I think I've rubbed salt in the wounds about that debacle with Whitefang quite enough.

So while Pewdiepie can gather legions of idiots he has no intention of putting faith in any of them because they are retarded and he knows this because he trained them.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Australia needs to grow the fuck up.

I love Australia, it has provided one of the safest and most financially safe living environments to me for all of my life and the security makes my transcontinental friends jealous. It's just a great country that while having it's problems, it gets by.

That said it has some fucking growing up to do, usually I don't chuck a shit fit over things Australia does because compared to anywhere else we're still doing a far smaller evil. That said the world of games and censorship continually manage to be drastically stupid here.

It's not the fault of developers or publishers, this is our own fault. Michael Ackinson and his fetishizers are the root of all this malarkey. It's all incredibly hypocritical and pointless. We recently got an 18+ rating after several years of pushing but SOMEHOW WE STILL FIND OUR RELEASES LATE. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU MICHAEL ACKINSON WORSHIPPING DICKBAGS.

To state on the hypocrisy, we allow movies to be released as soon as the retailers are ready but GAMES... GAMES ARE A WHOLE OTHER MEDIUM, OH YES BECAUSE SOME GUY PLAYS SAINTS ROW IV HE'S GOING TO START KILLING PEOPLE WITH GUNS AND... NO!

That's fucking retarded, we allow diehard trilogy, we allow fifty shades of grey, we allow Jason Voorhes god awful movies but a game with slightly inappropriate content, OH NO THAT IS DEVIL SPAWN! PURGE IT, PURGE IT. We don't play games like Saints Row to teach us how to interact socially, we play them because they are fun you fucking hypocrites. Saints Row IV was almost banned in Australia (this isn't anything new, Australia's sensitivity is like terrible tumblrfaggotry) and even after that we are still getting a watered down product almost a month after America. This isn't Deep Silver or Volitions fault, it's ours, and especially you fucking sensitive people. Grow the fuck up and stop thinking that games cause violence. That's not how it works, if a kid goeson a rampage it isn't because of games, it's because their parents are fucking terrible and you should get that, but these parents want to discard their culpability by blaming something that can't say 'naw mate, it's your fault.' It happened with movies but now those are okay Games are the potential devil carriers. No, start taking responsobility for your own fuck ups you hideous trash. Games didn't turn your kids into murderers or suicidal degenerates, if you are a person who thinks this go get fucked, you're a parasite that is living off the guilt of your own shortcomings being diverted to a scapegoat.

So yes, Australia please grow the fuck up, I'm pirating Saints Row IV to get the real deal before September 12 (since I already pre-ordered the game) just to drive the point home.

Get your heads out of the gutter, your only giving me a game for free and making me wait slightly longer than making me play a toned down version. Get the fuck over yourselves.

Google give it up.


This isn't for user security, it's for spying. Anyone who wants to hide behind an alias will do so no matter what terrible bullshit you attempt to put forward. I don't use Google+ because why the fuck would I? But Facebook is even more of a Nazi about this kind of thing.

If I don't want to reveal my real name, then that's my fucking business you indomitable shits. Don't suspend my account just because I don't give you a way to feel smart or disable you gathering information to desist my actions if you find them detrimental, you hideous fucking SLOB of a company.

I don't fall for your 'security' focused validation for persisting to use my real name. Don't like what I do? Ban my account, it's not fucking hard. All I simply do is go under a slightly modified alias, so it's redundant anyway.

People know me as Bizarre Monkey, only a few good friends, my mother and brother know my actual name. Get your head out of your ass Google, you aren't special and you aren't getting privileges just because you have one of the best search engines to date, deep down you're still corporate scumbags and you fucking know it.

I am not going to tell you my name just because you say Google is my friend, I don't know if I can trust Google. I can't trust something that won't trust me to be well behaved under an alias.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Wow, I almost forgot what this was...

No more Uni, so all my time is now being sunk into game dev n' stuff. :D

Here's an example of the sheer amount of crazy bullshit thats going into this game.
Why am i still even using VX Ace? Ahahahaha.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Wall o' text #40

It's approaching the time of night I feel compelled to talk out my ass about subjects I do or don't give a shit about for the amusement of absolutely nobody, so without further ado, go team ramble.

You might have noticed the branding for the company is changed, that's primarily because I'm no longer the only member and also because I felt compelled to change it given that when Bizarre Monkey Productions is said by acronym in shorthand; people in 20 years time will think "how hilariously archaic." kind of like how I do now.

I can't even remember the last time I used a BMP (Bitmap Image) and thought it was legitimately the Ace image format, everything it supports PNG (Portable Network Graphic) supports and supports it better, and while typically I eye JPEG Artefacts with inimitable disdain they do have their place and are very handy when transparency and quality aren't a concern. Typically I only use it for photos and everything else gets the PNG treatment. BMP's are becoming more and more redundant as the years go on. In 4 years time it’s likely most image sharing sites won't even support them, thus rendering them archaic much like CorelDraw.

On the subject of actual progress Menagerie wise there's been quite a lot, more so in these past 3 months than the entirety of last year. I think this is partly due to the deadline I placed for myself, but also it’s not unlikely that it was in part because I hadn't mapped out the story mid game. I'd done expansive work on late game and early but the mid only had this much for a storyboard.

"Go north to Dwarven Kingdom of Steelforge, find some sort of way to teleport the players to paradox facility and then begin constructing the ship to end another 10,000 ships."

Believe it or not most of the difficulty with this was the snowy maps leading up to Steelforge, eventually I decided to go with the Evergrove route and repaint readily supplied sample maps.

Mapping was never a problem I faced in Intelligence's production period because the majority of the first act was based on areas I had personally visited in real life, though usually only a specific street or block of such. Mapping snowy mountain regions is something I've always found difficult; this may explain why there are no fucking snowy regions on display in Intelligence. Though it may also be because it’s set in the Tropical East Coast of Australia, if you start seeing Eskimo's in such places it might bother you.

That said Tenterfield was added in 1.1 and is to date probably the worst map in Intelligence, well that's not true for the new version of Intelligence only I know about, but it was far from memorable; I doubt anyone thinking of Intelligence would fondly regard that snowy shithole with the crude homestuck reference at the top of the map. Typically they regard the charming characters, the primary Antagonist and how he should have stayed around longer or the evented puzzles, mini-games or action sequences.

It was surprising to hear the incredible reception Maw received as a villain; I didn't expect the resulting image of a cool ass dream which originally inspired the games idea would bring such a respected enigma. But yes, it seems mystery and the omission of detail is fundamental to good villain design.

That said I am attempting a more 'human' villain in Menagerie, one with a clear conscience and a very slight tender spot.

Using 'human' to describe Zardari is quite ironic given that he's an extra terrestrial cyan-blooded black-carapaced mass-murderer. You know your writing isn't top notch when a villain of such malice and disdain is born from years of enslavement to paperwork, but I intend to ease that a portion with optional Galaxion side-quests.

Speaking of such, this is probably going to be the only game I have made with a large focus on optional content insofar. With 10 planets to explore and a large homeworld that I just can't **WAIT** to begin the nightmare of mapping, this is likely going to be one of the most optional content laden projects I'll have made to date.

There'll also be a Stardome where you can do a multitude of things, play through mini-games that you enjoyed in the game as well as some new ones, visit the CCC Offices which is the Museum which serves to show things that didn't make the final release and also cameos from the developers and potential future members of the CCC, most of which have contributed to the project already in ways large and small.

Honorable mention goes to four people;

RavenBlueIndigo: for voluntarily producing an OST which will be advertised and given out on the game's release.

Rgangsta: for the majority of parallax work including the background for the splash of CCC.

apoc: for all the new battlebacks, which you have not seen yet, but believe me they are awesome.

And finally Xyzgon: for voluntary Voice acting.

I'd also like to extend thanks to pjcr in helping relieve me of the dilemma of using already established images for Cameo avatars, though incidentally by way of drawing comics.

Now I have something else to talk about but I find myself captivated not to by the power invested in my by the shits I just don't give.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Sorry for the lack of updates.

I've been pretty busy since 12/12/12, christmas rush, all that. Then i had some little minor surgery and also a vacation to the Coast; so yeah. I haven't had a lot of time to update this between all that and other things.

I'm starting university sometime, either this quarter or quarter 3, so yeah that's cool I guess.

What's really been doing well is Menagerie's progress, I'm up to making the last boss fight and the ending, then its all optional stuff to go, without optional exploration at all, the game should still provide 2 and a half hours of game play.



Literally, I just got done with a phone call saying I've been approved. so yeah, don't have time to write up a titanic super wall of text.