Thursday, September 19, 2013

Purposefully belated Console rundown

This is a subject I wanted to broach and I figure that doing it four months after everyone has had their fun, been given a chance to be proven wrong and than have their fun again was an ideal way to not get knocked ajar by talking shit about developers of each console.

So at this years E3 each big wig announced their consoles, Sony with the linear divinity of the Playstation 4, Microsoft with their Original Xbox but pumped with Call of Duty and loads of features that are more omens and devils than actual things people care about, and the WiiU because Nintendo have never liked numbers anyway.

Now before I begin I didn't watch E3 but for the record I sort of wish I would have now just to see Sony publicly shame Microsoft on the stage of public ire.

So like most of my posts this is going to be bickering based on the subjective viewing of others and shouldn't be taken seriously abloohdy bloohdy blah.

I really must applaud Sony not only for keeping Linear with Sequential numbering but also for being savvy enough to mock Microsoft on stage for an hour in lieu of actually talking about things to do with the Playstation 4, but I think regardless of that Microsoft have already fallen flat to Sony's heel, and while everyone's cheering on Sony I think Microsoft is mostly at fault, it's getting pretty clear a company is becoming corrupt when a constantly on spy-camera and unnecessary restrictions are being advertised as features.

Sony may be daft at times but they do seem to have their heart in the right place while still innovating in ways to make their console attractive since consoles have become relatively redundant in recent years.

Previously consoles were administered to be a cheap effective way of gaming but with Computer's expanding and the consistency of which computers are keeping consoles out of date they've become to dedicated PC owners what cellhpones have become to people with smartphones.

It's clear that consoles as simply a game device isn't selling thanks to the difference in pricing between a big end PC and a dedicated console not being incredibly marginal, and a PC also has more than just games to it. So while Sony has gone with social media WiiU has just started flicking its IP's at people again because in the words of the wise, old habits die hard.

Though while the majority of Nintendo's reveals were predictable I've come to be more forgiving of them because they still make games which are fun, which is more than I can say for the entirely of XBOX's exclusive market.

Social Media I'm okay with and the PS4 is the only console I'll probably end up buying, though I'm not pre-ordering it because it turns out that buying it 4 years after it came out was the wisest move I've made in my life because when I got around to it there was a library of games and Ratchet & Clank became my favourite game franchise ever.

I'd advise holding off on pre-ordering a PS4 because by god did you ever fail to cherish the decision to pre-order a PS3. (insert obligatory no gaems joke here.)

So the only console I have any interest in I'm likely going to buy once it starts collecting dust and more than two games. Hee hee hee Bizarre Monkey you funny little cunt.

So enough about Sony, WiiU...

What did surprise me is that Nintendo are slowly but surely just packing their consoles and Handhelds into one, the WiiU features nintendo's fantastical brand of meaningless chronology, it also has a clucky caparaced difficult to operate controller to boot.

Oh but wait, motion controls are apparently good in this one so maybe I'll hold my mouth this time. Though I think the next rundown is only going to get lip though mainly just because no one will be able to prove me wrong for what I say and if they do it means they are defending a console which was laughed at for the first half of it's airing.

Woe is me.

But yes, the XboxOne, that is to say actually the third installment, not the 360th or the first is Microsoft's laughing stock of the century. I'd say looking back at even older history Microsoft have fucked up this badly or gotten themselves this much flak, even when they we're taken to court over copying a lot of the macintosh's design philosophy I don't think they ever looked this pathetic in the public eye.

Speaking of eyes and the public they apparently think that they have a right to spy on their sheep now and truth is they can and will to anybody stupid enough to buy their evil corporate maintenance machine. Again if you'r stupid enough to buy the XboxOne then I'm happy to let your hubris bite you in the ass.

Though if a Dad buys this for his son then I'm sorry for your enslavement, kid. If you ever break free of the subluminal haze feel free to tell your dad he's a tasteless tosser.

Speaking of palette it looks like this console might be the final nail in Microsfots console coffin, it's made blatantly obvious by how much they are overhyping games like Destiny and the new Call of Duty that this isn't going to go anywhere. At my local gamestore the pre-order XboxOne marketing is heavily shadowed by Call of Duty Ghost Ghetto or whatever it's called and I'm glad to see that not only is COD running out of ideas and is getting desperate but so is the Xbox.

Maybe once they get done with consoles they can go back to what they do best, releasing a good OS followed by a bad OS in perfect synthesis.

Even at its reveal the Xbox is failing, we don't even know how explosive the hardware is yet. It's new and improved Red Ring of Death might become the Green Grenade of Global Detonation.

Though that's likely an exaggeration, if the new RRoD doesn't bring atleast a decent household fire I'm not amused.

Though in all fairness it was mighty sporty of Microsoft to make it easy to decide which console not to buy this Gen.

That said I'm going to go a bit more into the eventual redundancy of consoles.

We're coming to an age where the only advance in CG graphics and animation is to reduce the cost and it's come to the point now where computers of high end specs are competing easily with consoles and shortly beyond the consoles release will have already out done them in the hardware aspect and in a lot of cases are easier to afford, whilst also having internet, the largest gaming library on the market, redundancy of older consoles by the way of emulations and lots of programs for purposes business, hobby or otherwise.

Consoles have essentially just become a money grab now and the XboxOne is going to an obscene effort to make this obvious. It's not like you can depend on them to outlast a computer now either what with a new generation every five or so years.

So essentially the choice comes down to buying a stripped down computer with limited and moderated internet access, a small library of games and that you'll upgrade once every five years, or if while spending 300 dollars you get a fully functional with unlimted free-roaming internet access and an impossibly large library of games on the Windows OS with support for modding, third party programs your own accountability if you fuck it up before it's lasted you five years.

Also consoles especially of the Xbox branding have a tendency to die well before a computer would.

Anyway, that's enough from me on all this, Biz out.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Talking shit about Youtube Celebrities (and the fans thereof more so.)

It's become fairly obvious to me that what people admire me doing is bashing other people because my vernacular and unfathomable disposition with human beings go well together, it might also have been that I was just bored enough to check my traffic figures.

Well regardless if that's true or not I'm here to talk shit about terrible people on youtube, or really the fans of them more so.

In fact while they are obnoxious beyond all manner of human irritation for me to listen to I can't help but applaud these no-talent clowns for making money out of doing essentially fuck all valuable with their life, though i think what really seals the deal is that they operate around the desires of stupid people.

That I'm okay with, punishing people for being retarded and gullible is something I can admire, but really you aren't punishing them your just punishing the ads or okay actually I have no idea how youtube monetization works but I assume that it's not from the watcher's wallets because if it did I think just about everyone would have an ad-blocker instead of the few exceptionally smart people, me being one of them.

That said they still have a legion of fans who will cater to their every whim but then you realise that the legion is afflicted by every mortal personality disorder and complex in the book.

To recap why I'm even broaching this topic I've recently been trolling Pewdiepie fans because his army is the biggest and his fans the most notorious for being objectively stupid in every department of human intelligence conceived.

It's come to a point where I can serve these numb skulls their own words for breakfast but frankly it's beginning to feel like they are doing most of the work for me by inserting themselves with the wheatley virus and mimmicking a mixture of Tom Preston and an aggressively zealous christian.

It's become very obvious to me that all of these people share an insecurity of being alone and not 'in' which is hilarious because thats a group of people intellectuals like myself avoid being any part of. Being 'in' means caving to popular demand and popular demand is outstandingly retarded these days... actually it always has been just people were a lot less gullible to human desire back in the 90's.

But it's popular demand on youtube that brings the money so if you want to spend your career in video editing getting rich of chumps then fine by me I guess.

Like I said it's not the people who do this sort of thing that are the real enemy, I blame the general populace for having terrible taste and wanting to be in. Yes thats right 89% of Humanity is responsible for this shit, you're also at fault for World of Warcraft still going, Activision and EA still making money and Nintendo still able to milk out replastered images of their previous games and get away with it.

Though I think I'll be taking a vow to Nintendo's side since while samey and uncreative their games are still fun and therefore have a reason to exist and in all fairness they have tried new IP's, but they ofcourse don't go anywhere and this again is your fault for caving to regularity.

Anyway back to bashing Pewdiefans and stuff, so as I was getting to before I got derailed I've recently been intellectually destroying people who serve Pewdiepie and they all have a glaring insecurity and it's not just a desire to be in.

To be in is part of it but essentially they want to feel loved because there parents don't love them or take part in their interests and they have no real friends cry-cry-cry.

I have no real friends either but I'm okay with it because I have plenty of cool friends on Skype who I've raised to actually be smart, at least smart enough to abandon yahoo or MSN and get skype, it's fairly obvious that Pewdiefans want to be bros and thus the terminology of the bro army is brought about.

It's too bad that their are also 13 million other bros in the family and that the bro king cares not at all for any of them.

See when you expose the logic of it being impossible for one man to share love and devotion to 13 million people it becomes not to difficult to get through to them that pewdiepie is just lining his pockets.

This is how I break people, I find out what their goals are and why they are doing what ever despicable act they are to achieve it and then I sweep therug out from under them and reveal to them it's all a big sham, sort of like Scientology except you only lost your dignity not your life savings as well.

When people come to fully beleive this realization they can't respect pewdiepie anymore because their initial reason for joining his addled army is entirely nulled by the fact that pewdiepie is just leeching money from their stupidity.

It's at this point they start doing what I have smugly been doing from the beginning, telling everyone that they're idiots and tools for watching pewdies videos.

Thankfully it seems that after all the effort to crush pewdiepie and other such celebrities their fanbases have started to die down. Some newer videos now not even getting 3 pages of comments.

This means humanity is slowly but surely growing out of its clinically retarded clique phase and it's good, we've all worked very hard for it, well the 11% of us who realized we were the smartest 11% on Earth.

It's hilarious when people retort with 13,000,000 subscribers being a good sign that I'm jealous

Yes, I suppose I should be jealous of having a legion of mentally challenged chopsticks who would obey every whim I so commanded about as well as a Croos eye hobbit with Alzheimer's disease will.

I should be but I already have a more managable fandom of people who will not only do as I wish, but do it competently. So far pewdiepiefans and that ilk of the 'in' crown tend to have the competence and reliability of a fat kid asked to watch over the store of chicken satays.

Where as my smaller troupe can not only coordinate their efforts efficiently but also actually get their jobs done. If you look hard enough you might find proof of said successful endevaours but I'm not going to link my successes here because the sites they were on no longer exist and also because I think I've rubbed salt in the wounds about that debacle with Whitefang quite enough.

So while Pewdiepie can gather legions of idiots he has no intention of putting faith in any of them because they are retarded and he knows this because he trained them.