Friday, October 31, 2014

The Nevermore before Christmas

So it's probably no surprise to anyone who's read up a little about me that I hail from Australia, a country devoid much like most of the other countries of the world of the United States' spooky spectacle that is Halloween. Corporations have been recently trying to push it here and I hope it does take off, because it's a great Celebration. One that I slept through because I'd been awake for two days. When I was little we had nothing on the Halloween scale, industries weren't even trying to push it here, which I suppose may have been fair since we didn't have a period of witchhunting (except when it comes to Sharks, and even that's only recent), we were made as a nation 100 years after the whole witchcraft academic, observed by the less shallow individual as women just being clever rather than any sort of arcane sorcery. Perhaps there were some psionic forces at work, in which case, fuck yeah... instead of killing them why didn't we just try to learn? Like come on who doesn't have fantasies of shooting lightning from your hands or summoning blazing infernos?

Probably just as well though, since given our modern day I can't imagine the world with a heavy influence on magick being any less dangerous. Though we've never needed magic to fuck shit up, just ask the Fathers of the atomic bomb about all that.

Besides, most fantasies these days can be answered with games, want to invoke a bloody rampage, well with a sword or gun that's easy, see god of war or MGR:R or any 90's FPS.

Want to fly? Yeah sure, there's no games that are built on that aspect. (See, there's actually truckloads, that was sarcastic, ofcourse) There's even games for people with corporate power fantasies like Cookie Cutter and Papers Please!

Recently I wanted to play a game which was about rumrunning, escaping the law to bring people goods, welp Mirror's Edge exists.

I don't know how anyone could conversely hate games, I can understand hating certain types of games or gamers, but games as a medium is so expressive and combines the best of interactive media with the likeness of a cartoon or movie. Anyone who would abstain the growth or distribution of this mediumhas to be basically insane or more accurately, senile.

Sure Granny, I guess I could go to school just to learn shit that this game can teach me in a fun and interesting way.

Hah! I bet you all thought this post was gonna be about Halloween and my spookventures? Well nah like i said I slept from 4 PM to 6 AM the next morning so I missed Halloween practically entirely.

What I can do is tell you of a few spooky sites that you should basically never visit because they are horrible, I'm not speaking of 4chan or tumblr or Twitter because they are often hilarious in their meta-implications and are dumb enough just to laugh at. I myself have visited 2 of those, Tumblr being the one I have chosen to avoid.

That's right, I'd rather go to 4chan than Tumblr.

Since I have lots of fun shit talking evil or malign people, what better to do than to bash their shitty and evil websites?

These sites are beyond the precipice of forgiveness or humor, they are sites so disgusting that they shouldn't exist, but they do. So obviously there's gonna be a fanatic religious group in here and I think this one deserves the bread here.
#1: Westboro Baptist Church
Everything that is bad about Christianity, amplified, dissented and then chopped into hacks...  this... monstrosity is critized by Christians themselves. it makes the Anglo-saxon order look bad, it makes religion look bad, it makes Atheists look justified. I mean when I first heard of it I thought it was a joke-- facetious.

It isn't. I mean their main website has the url of, and ultimately because he hates fags he also hates all of America and therefore we are all doomed?

Tolerance is one of God's supposed strong suits, so I guess this kind of is actually just in reality, which is an accurate coining since most of the members of Westboro are senile old christians (mostly men) who have a problem with gay people and women having rights, that there still exists such a cancer is sure sign our world ain't changed all that much from the 1700's to now. Just such ideals are now strictly locked to this band of retards.

I mean I think these guys are pretty unfairly quoting the bible, did fag even exist as a word back when the bible was written? Did people genuinely think of that concept back then? Weren't we a bit busy murdering people to notice the two dudes feeling each other up?

That is the prime anecdote that defines different religious groups, the bible is interpreted differently because it was written by, well it was written over 2000 years ago now by some fellas who wanted to make a moral guide to life. So it's outdated, trying to apply it's principles to life today is idiotic. It's translations also haven't helped it any.

I mean if you read the first, the original testament, the one Catholic fellas still go by (I think Catholics are pretty cool, before you say anything, like they are hardcore, and I can respect that), paints god as this evil, misogynistic, pompous wizard who kills over a thousand times as many people as Satan does.

My point is that back in those days was REALLY different to the now, now we're in the information/digital age. It is an awesome age, though the invention age of 1970-2000 was also fucking amazing, we invented the Microwave, which was this unbelievable thing that could cook an object with NOTHING! Well, sans a couple hundred kilowatts. It was the future, today! We also invented the internet, which was pretty cool.

So yeah, my spiel about all this just goes to show that Westboro Baptist Church are the devout crusaders of today, a day that neither needs nor wants them. They are about 900 years out of date and 300 years out of touch with reality.

#2 Otaku
Host to the worst game journalist's the world knows, reading anything on here is like taking a flu shot, but instead of curing the flu you don't have, it makes you very angry and irritable and also inserts a powerful desire to make others suffer.

It is pure poison.

There is no good that has EVER come from Otaku.

#3 Phil Fish
He doesn't actually have a website, so I'll just redirect you to his closed down Twitter account. Philippe Poisson (fitting last name) is a plague of the video games industry, who only seems capable of ripping an idea of and then getting really butthurt when people complain about it, being a games developer myself, I can tell you that being butthurt isn't a sign to hunt down and malignantly start fights with people, it's a sign you need to make better games. I imagine this guy is pretty insecure about his position, like Notch (or Markus Persson) and ultimately isn't very good at making games, only hyping them up, despite similar games doing what his so-called Blockbuster had done before and done better... I speak of Fez, unsuccessful successor of Gravity Rush (a much better game), he recently quit the games dev industry, so i feel vindicated in saying that he probably had no intention to develop games just because he loved doing it, because if he did sincerely love making games, he wouldn't quit making them.

He also wouldn't chuck a fit when given legitimate criticism, he's the Tom Preston of game developers, lazy, and basically had dollar signs in his eyes when he started.

That never was and never has been a factor to me, because I just love making games, I've made five for the general public and never asked a cent for them. Being given the chance to impress people with my skills is enough for me. Guess who supports him? oh, Notch, Otaku and other game devs who entered the industry for money, rather than because they saw the potential such a medium offers for showcasing their ideals and ideas.

There's probably some kind of "no shit really" clause to me saying this, but I do have ideals that I convey in my games, but in subtle ways that don't obstruct gameplay. I think Menagerie tried a bit hard in that aspect, which is why I'm remastering it (among other reasons you can see below in my post a month ago).

Intelligence: Fighting against Destruction
Hellcat: Damnation and Salvation... is there even a difference?
Menagerie: Searching for Place and Purpose, Fighting against the Machine, others. (like i said, too much of a clusterfuck)
Exile: Fighting for Freedom
Perseverance: Fighting for Self / Against Oppression

Each of these games has a message, and regardless of what you or I think of those Messages, it's pretty clear that excluding Menagerie they were presented in a fairly subtle manner that didn't obstruct gameplay. Games are what you make of them, and what you make of games ultimately decides what people make of you as a developer. Philippe Poisson very clearly saw games as a way to make a bunch of money off some dumb kids, and for the most part, he got what he wanted, until he realized people really hate him for that. I'm not a dumb kid, I never bought Fez, but I hate him for that. I don't think highly of kids, nor do I think it's entirely unjustified to make money off of stupid people, I mean Pewdiepie does that shit for a living, what I hate about it is that it implies gamers are stupid, when in fact, it's only a part of us that are, and it's not something that'll work when you yourself are stupid. Pewdiepie knows darn well what he's doing, and while it's... evil, what he does. I think it's cool that in person he's real about it. He's like 'when kids throw you money, exploit them for more money'. Ultimately, pewdiepie is watched by stupid people, anyone smart will use an adblocker, which means he doesn't get money. So hey, if you watch Pewdiepie because you find him funny or endearing, congratulations, you're about as credibly intellectual as a scientologist.

Back to Possion, I think it's awesome he was shown the door by his very own fans, it's a perfectly fitting gesture for a corporate-saddling pig.

Notch also quit recently for similar though more humble reasons, so good riddance.

#4 Sweetcred
A special thanks to Dave Strider for finding this one first, and also saving me the assumed pain of having to look at it myself. Basically some guy wants to sell candy and therefore stereotyped kids in the most ludicrous manner imaginable, I don't think even senile old people who think 'us "young whippersnappers" get it so easy' would believe this hogwash.

This is an odd thing for me to do, but it's not that this site is bad, in fact it's quite the opposite, it's a trap that will have you spamming F5 for the next update. I read this bible to absurdity back in late 2011, I can tell you it has next to no similarities to the bible.

1. It's coherent, and makes sense from start to finish.
2. It's twice as long in word count.
3. You want to read it more than once.

I've reread it once, but I know some who have reread it five times or more, and this is a webcomic with a word count that rivals the entirety of the 7 Harry Potter Books. It also has attractive flash animations and even miniature web-based games.

I say, don't do it... because if you're a creative designer like me, it'll inspire you, and you may find yourself unknowingly making references or using it's running gags without thinking. I've recently been able to kick its infection to the curb, but it took three sodding years to do so.

There's also absolutely no good to be had when referencing from Homestuck, most people turn their nose up when you make a reference and they know what it's from, while others will be clueless or share a small giggle at best, just rely on your own humor, MSPA's humor is very contained in its own Universe.

So, there you have it, my 2spooky list of sites you should never visit. I could have been a dick and thrown RMwebs in there, but really the site on it's own isn't bad, just some of it's members have a disgusting hubris and take themselves way too seriously, however I wouldn't condemn going there, I mean I'm 12timesbanned for christs sake it's funny just to look at the posts some of those wankers make and laugh.

Don't get me started on particular users like Victor Sant or Hirei, jesus just don't even make me go there.

Edit: Changed that ghastly font... christ it's irritating to spell check with that shit.

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