Recently I got inspired to do some self-indulgent wonderblogging, so I decided that I will do just that.
Chapter 1: In this town of which I live.
Lismore, 20 minutes from the beach of the Australian East coast, this city stands among all others a pinnacle of druggie dystopia. In this town, don't we blaze it now, all manner of illegal distrubition can be observed, from heroin addicts, crack crimelords, to just a bunch of damn pot-smoking hippies doing no harm, this city is manifest of why 'cops are a lazy excuse for justice'. In this city we have over 70% of inhabitants hooked on some form of substance that is illegal. If you are in Lismore and know only straight people, you aren't doing it right.
It should be noted that of this towns majority, I am one of the exceptional minority, the only addiction I've ever had is to iced coffee, which I'm pretty sure is legal! It may not be though, and if the bean-bouncers come to my house you can blame them for their not being another article, those nefarious Nescafe naysayers will be to blame.
I am glad to say that unlike the other two people I live with, I have never attempted drugs of any sort, not because I am scared of them, but because I like being different. My indifference with the majority has always been a contributing part of my psyche profile, it has nearly come to an extent of autism. It's not that I even try to be different, and I sure as hell am not different because I act to be or choose to be, I just am. It's not like I'm some hipster who thinks I'm better than everyone because I choose not to partake in an activity that the majority of people choose to actively partake in, I'm just very rebellious. This is likely due to my Dad's side of the family, the Byrnes', which dates back to Joe Byrne, the cousin of Ned Kelly, one of the only Vigilante's Australia has had.
The 'S' was added by the family name after the prosecution of Ned Kelly to avoid hassle from various agencies, but one of my relatives has been gracious enough to look into it and it turns out that I am indeed a pedigree, cool that.
It's also possibly because I think society is a load of flabbergasted horseshit, which may explain why I chose to live in solitude for 8 years after dropping out of school, I'm very much a man who can live with my own company, and this begins this briefly alluded to "Venture of Vanity".
I've been exposed time and time again to the amount of pain and stress people will go to for the sake of their vanity, women have this in spades, but guys also tend to get tied up in trying to look like they are cool to veil the unfortunate reality that they are a goofy clown underneath.
So what drives us, what is the meat we must manifest to mature in our own malformed rise to manliness? I can't speak for Women since I am not one and have no real desire to be (though I'm sure a bunch of my friends may have you think otherwise) but what I can do is be a voice of reason and questioning for men who seek to be the beefcake they want to be.
I myself have never had dreams of being strong, I like being unimposing so people don't feel intimidated. However I have certainly wanted to feel badass in the past. I recently put together an outfit to show that I can be badass in appearance... but it's not me. It isn't suiting, also woolen scarfs are itchy motherfuckers and having one of those around my mouth like that dude in Soul Reaver gets irritating pretty fast.
So to drive this venture on its way, our pursuit in our external appearance is a desire to appease others, to impress those with what we "can" be rather than what we are, what we are is human, flawed... different and for the majority, obnoxious. I talk to about 40 different people each day, only a minority of those people impress me, and those are typically the people who don't hide behind a facade.. the more people hide the more I know I can't trust them, they cant trust themselves, they are hiding what they are because they don't trust their own form, how can i trust someone when they don't even trust themselves? That'd be like asking a new employee who'd only done remixes of songs to compose a full soundtrack and rely on them to do that.
The facade thing will fool some, but I have a psychological profile, I can easily peel away the fabricated layers people use to cloak their insecurities, it's one thing I'm very good at.
Chapter 2: Our greatest enemy is our fear of being an enemy.
Contrary to popular fiction, people will avoid confrontation at all costs, people want it to be easy and avoid hardships whenever possible. So therefore vanity becomes a primary drive so you look 'representable' as you can without flaunting yourself around to get on other peoples nerves, I am guilty of this myself. When I Attended University earlier this year, I dressed much more respectably than I do typically and I never got into a fight, though that's also partly because I didn't go out of my way to make friends and was focused on getting my study on, and i got a distinction so i guess I came out of that well. The point to this is that if I had gone to University wearing what I am now it's likely people would have judged me in their head as more filthy than I would have been whilst wearing my blue striped polo-shirt and suit pants that you can see me wearing here.
So Vanity for us is also like a feeling of security, a shield to the seething eyes of conflict. We want to make others impressed so we do not achieve the opposite, which is for them to be appalled, no one likes feeling as if they are appalling.
However, there are sometimes when Vanity pisses me off, and there are certainly many at fault for this...
Chapter 3: The Media and their market on maturing masculinity.
I absolutely loathe the media for this reason, the magazines they print have littered on the front page either a sex symbol of some kind or a dog, in the case of a dog, turn to back.
What I'm saying is that in our modern world women and men (but particularly women) are brought into the world thinking they have to be strong, smart and stunningly attractive, which is not only unrealistic, but a gross tactic for marketing toys to growing young females like Barbie and Bratz, in this day and age women of all ages are being taught the wrong things by the media, no one will like you if you are a brat, if you think that your deluded or fucking stupid.
Because of magazines and the iconic "supermodels" all growing girls of our generation are groomed with a constant sense of insecurity about how they look, most Women I've spoken to are very self-conscious and for the most part, this isn't their fault. This is firstly the media for raising the bar to near impossible standards, but also for shallow men thinking that Women like that are 'natural'.
Supermodels are as deviant from our organic composition as you get, plastic surgery, implants and silicon, you may as well just say they are cyborgs, the majority of them even have the deadpan personality and flawed unresponsive intellect to match.
Any dude who thinks that such a girl is the only sort good enough for him is destined to be one of those old codgers who are constantly grumpy in old age because they never got any, and it would be their fault for being shallow. Justice if there ever was.
Chapter 4: Fighting the Oppression
So now you've been told by some unromantic Aussie sage in his mid 20's why girls are self-conscious, why vanity is a vex of mortality and why we do what we do, what will your actions be?
For 90% of you, you'll continue to do what you've always done and for you I could care less about how it works out for you. For the 10% of you that care, it's incredibly easy to fight it if your open to yourself psychologically.
If you're like me, (Asexual) you'll likely find that you aren't even really in need of a wife, but just a good friend or two, however since those of Asexual inclination are fairly rare, I'll make this quick: Go out and find friends, find interesting people, by either going to an event which interests you (where you'll have a high chance of finding people who have similar interests to yours) or by starting a learning degree somewhere, though since College for anyone in the U.S has a habit of being expensive, the first option is more viable. The second works better for me due to my locale.
As for the bi-sexual, heterosexual or homosexual, here's an important tip if you want to try to find an interesting relationship or just want to get past your vanity problems.
First, if someone rejects you because of your appearance, this should make you stronger... for that person who did reject you is a shallow tool, and you likely would have found him unbearable to live with anyway!
Second, I'm not saying to discard vanity, there is a reason we have it, however, don't make it a commitment, make it a pleasure. Life is to be enjoyed and instead of thinking how gay this V-neck makes you look or how ridiculously daggy these pants are, you should be looking at the positives, for example, say you are hetero-sexual but are stuck with a V-neck, improvise! The image i linked above with my soul reaver scarf is with me wearing a V-neck, so i covered it with a badass scarf and look damned well awesome, instead of like I just woke up from a night out with some rigid sternly gentlemen bums.
Thirdly, no matter what you wear, the best thing to be is yourself. Contrary to your brain's incessant prattling, you are quite interesting, everyone is! When people put forth a facade is when they are most boring, because they are presenting one mindset, when an average individual has several for each circumstance they may encounter.
There you go, one venture of vanity complete. Cheers.