I decided to make a post to discuss this, because I'm all for hopeless causes. The Internet has become much less of a private place, I want to use my Bizarre Monkey alias for good reason, but every single cretin has crawled out of the woodworks since CISPA came around, I'm not saying privacy was bad before this act was passed, but I still remain angry that it did at all, even with Avaaz.com and other freedom-fighting sites this one got by.
Granted, its not nearly as bad as SOPA or PIPA or ACTA, which were all shut the fuck down, but its still disconcerting.
Facebook always asked for a real name, I just use my Pep Cookiedoe proxy alias because i never go to facebook to talk to people legit serious, because that would warrant me actually using facebook, which is something I refuse to do. Its awful.
But now, Google+ and everything google has its fucking claws in (this includes Youtube) is now asking me for a real name. Ofcourse, I dont tell just anybody my real name, that's dumb. A fool move on the internet.
So yeah, at least youtube makes it optional, but this is still getting to me, if I want to make a Google+ Account to explain that this is my dev page and infact NOT the Pep Cookiedoe who trolled all your media asses, then yeah, it gets difficult, it wouldn't even allow Biz Monkee, I mean... fuck. What is your name in real life was Rolly Paulie, would it even allow you to use your birth name? That sucks.
I think this infectious real name crap needs to stop, let people use the name they want to.
Well, that's all there really is to say on the matter. This must have been my shortest rant ever!
Friday, September 28, 2012
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Here comes another one.
Yes, another wall of text you might end up feeling ill about yourself
after reading, rest assured if you do feel ill with yourself after
reading this one it means your a sane and rational being, it means your
own flaws digust you, you're fucking welcome for that by the way.
So I've come to drop some mad wisdom on all of you ungrateful tits and open up a can of wicked knowledge based on opinions and kick the wicked shit out of this marty mcfly, yo.
The first thing you might notice, or did previously is that I am now fully encompassing my Australian Heritage and have stopped stereotyping britain because lets face it, being rich, wearing dapper suits and being classy upright gentlemen is probably the best stereotype ever, and its too good for me.
First Subject: Ace gets decent scripting support.
I mean, really god damn decent, out right uncanny really. My only disdain is that some of these hella-rad systems arent on VX as well, Victor Sant has blown my mind with his Platforming scripts, FREE JUMP and MOVING PLATFORMS basically eliminate any need for contempt that not a decent platforming script exists for VX.
Because now I can simply make Platforming games in Ace instead, I've been switching back and forth between VX and VX Ace for sometime wth Menagerie, but Mr Bubble's TACTICS OGRE PSP CRAFTING SYSTEM, has answered the call for a simple crafting system that doesnt have stupid mandatory addtional bullshit like GOGO TOTORI'S FORGING FUCKWADDERY, sure I can see that being great in the right hands, but it aint for me, so to show I have actually been making some progress, heres some RECIPE BOOKS FOR THE MENTALLY VOID.
Icons are placeholders now, maybe.
Thankfully this frees up my item list a fair bit, 10 codexes for a bunch of alchemy recipes rather than 98 of the fucking things, will drop my item list to a much more managable scale.
By my request and his mad respect the coder is going to have an optional picture be ably to be displayed in the currently void right panel. I have already started work on making covers for these CODEXES OF INGLORIOUS WISDOM.
I put VX Ace away for a while while I worked on recently released games such as Hellcat and Intelligence Patch 1.1.9 and the unreleased a while to come MCP for Intelligence, 1.2
So I just casually decided to have a look around the scripts board on VXace.net and wow holy shit.
Last time I looked there were 9 pages of scripts, its now extended to be double that.
Now for something completely different.
ACTA is dead for good, good work everyone.
Oh yeah, some teenager whos younger than I am found a cure for cancer back in December, though I only heard about it recently.
So yeah, thats pretty cool. Even if it took us 28 years.
The future is coming my fareweather friends.
Though I dont think we could truly call it the future until we have reached a few large milestones, flying cars and easy transport, perhaps teleportation.
And Virtual Reality Games, yeah that'd be pretty cool.
But thats just novelties at this point, really.
What would categorize the 'future' would be cleaner eco-friendly transport, (hybrid cars help this, but they are still more expensive than gassy pieces of shit most people use.) easy stressless cures for pretty bad diseases, cancer is nearing this, and once you have that big bug squashed, the others become more understandable, their complex stonewalls broken down by the study of and eventual flunking of the stonewalled prison that surrounded the cure to cancer.
Gradually we will have enough knowledge to painlessly treat Lukemia, Aids, HIV, Hepititous C and perhaps even mental illnesses, like insanity, severe depression and... hey lets be optimistic here, human stupidity. But actually I'd rather that wasn't curable by a simple injection or pill, i'd rather you cure that through experience and learning how to not be a divine retard.
I'd also probably consider the future 'so modernne' if we could relinquish our retarded penchant for religion. Like, yeah, we still totally beleive the earth is square or flat, come ON people, you cant dismiss somethings in the bible and not others, if you looked into it god is complete dick, "so delectably evil" as Stewy from Family Guy puts it. And he's right, God is mean douche, only about 25 pages in its revealed that hes killed thousands of people, and if he is responsible for eveything that exists, then why doesnt he do us a fucking solid and stop entering his fingers where they arent needed.
You could say i see a lot of christian practises blessedly retarded, such as praying, I think Bruce Almighty best illustrates this as a pointless practise, here, i'll quote it.
Bruce: There were so many, I just game 'em what they wanted.
God: Yeah... but since when have people had a clue what they actually want.
Bruce: So what do I do?
God: Parting a Soup isn't a miracle Bruce, its a magic trick. A single Mom, who works two jobs and still finds the time to take her son to soccer practise-- thats a miracle. A teenager who says no to drugs and yes to an education-- Thats a Miracle. People want me to do everything for them... but what they dont realise is, is they have the power.
God: Don't make Miracles, son. Be the miracle.
Bruce: Wait, are you leaving?
God: yeah, I think you can manage from here.
Bruce: But what if I need you, what if i have questions?
God: Ah haha, thats your problem, Bruce. Thats everybody's problem, you keep looking up.
This is perfectly logical, God's all busy making more planets and stuff, he cant afford these intrusions, and if given no other option, you'll do it yourself anyway, because you, I-- nay, everyone, has the power.
If there is some benevolent force out there, a puppetmaster of impeccable and unfathomable pulchritude, intelligence and vim, he's not going to give a satanic shit what we think or what we do, honestly, you people think the creator of galaxies millionfold has time to give each some attention? That would be a proposterous waste of time he/they/it/she/whom could be better using on galactic birthing.
While I am certainly not religious, I'm far from ingnostic. I have witnessed miracles happen, and I beleive magic is real, and if me beleiving hard enough makes it slighty less fake, then i will beleive as hard as I can, I have witnessed circumstancial oddities that could not be accredited to mere coincidence alone, I have seen the smug cowl Gal'vana shows, the bitter face Heldath shows, the neutral complacence the Necropolis shows, all have been foils for my curiosity, and all have assured me that no matter how much people disbeleive, there is always magic in the world, no matter how primitive the life forms, or how stone set their ideals of science.
But yeah, beleive what you want if you so badly need a godly father figure to look up to. Thats basically what religion comes down to, if your religious, chances are you suffer from insecurity issues, and beleive you arent whole. Not everyone gets to feel 100% happy with their existence like I do I guess.
I think thats it for now. I dont feel the need to break my old record yet.
So I've come to drop some mad wisdom on all of you ungrateful tits and open up a can of wicked knowledge based on opinions and kick the wicked shit out of this marty mcfly, yo.
The first thing you might notice, or did previously is that I am now fully encompassing my Australian Heritage and have stopped stereotyping britain because lets face it, being rich, wearing dapper suits and being classy upright gentlemen is probably the best stereotype ever, and its too good for me.
First Subject: Ace gets decent scripting support.
I mean, really god damn decent, out right uncanny really. My only disdain is that some of these hella-rad systems arent on VX as well, Victor Sant has blown my mind with his Platforming scripts, FREE JUMP and MOVING PLATFORMS basically eliminate any need for contempt that not a decent platforming script exists for VX.
Because now I can simply make Platforming games in Ace instead, I've been switching back and forth between VX and VX Ace for sometime wth Menagerie, but Mr Bubble's TACTICS OGRE PSP CRAFTING SYSTEM, has answered the call for a simple crafting system that doesnt have stupid mandatory addtional bullshit like GOGO TOTORI'S FORGING FUCKWADDERY, sure I can see that being great in the right hands, but it aint for me, so to show I have actually been making some progress, heres some RECIPE BOOKS FOR THE MENTALLY VOID.
Thankfully this frees up my item list a fair bit, 10 codexes for a bunch of alchemy recipes rather than 98 of the fucking things, will drop my item list to a much more managable scale.
By my request and his mad respect the coder is going to have an optional picture be ably to be displayed in the currently void right panel. I have already started work on making covers for these CODEXES OF INGLORIOUS WISDOM.
I put VX Ace away for a while while I worked on recently released games such as Hellcat and Intelligence Patch 1.1.9 and the unreleased a while to come MCP for Intelligence, 1.2
So I just casually decided to have a look around the scripts board on VXace.net and wow holy shit.
Last time I looked there were 9 pages of scripts, its now extended to be double that.
Now for something completely different.
ACTA is dead for good, good work everyone.
Oh yeah, some teenager whos younger than I am found a cure for cancer back in December, though I only heard about it recently.
So yeah, thats pretty cool. Even if it took us 28 years.
The future is coming my fareweather friends.
Though I dont think we could truly call it the future until we have reached a few large milestones, flying cars and easy transport, perhaps teleportation.
And Virtual Reality Games, yeah that'd be pretty cool.
But thats just novelties at this point, really.
What would categorize the 'future' would be cleaner eco-friendly transport, (hybrid cars help this, but they are still more expensive than gassy pieces of shit most people use.) easy stressless cures for pretty bad diseases, cancer is nearing this, and once you have that big bug squashed, the others become more understandable, their complex stonewalls broken down by the study of and eventual flunking of the stonewalled prison that surrounded the cure to cancer.
Gradually we will have enough knowledge to painlessly treat Lukemia, Aids, HIV, Hepititous C and perhaps even mental illnesses, like insanity, severe depression and... hey lets be optimistic here, human stupidity. But actually I'd rather that wasn't curable by a simple injection or pill, i'd rather you cure that through experience and learning how to not be a divine retard.
I'd also probably consider the future 'so modernne' if we could relinquish our retarded penchant for religion. Like, yeah, we still totally beleive the earth is square or flat, come ON people, you cant dismiss somethings in the bible and not others, if you looked into it god is complete dick, "so delectably evil" as Stewy from Family Guy puts it. And he's right, God is mean douche, only about 25 pages in its revealed that hes killed thousands of people, and if he is responsible for eveything that exists, then why doesnt he do us a fucking solid and stop entering his fingers where they arent needed.
You could say i see a lot of christian practises blessedly retarded, such as praying, I think Bruce Almighty best illustrates this as a pointless practise, here, i'll quote it.
Bruce: There were so many, I just game 'em what they wanted.
God: Yeah... but since when have people had a clue what they actually want.
Bruce: So what do I do?
God: Parting a Soup isn't a miracle Bruce, its a magic trick. A single Mom, who works two jobs and still finds the time to take her son to soccer practise-- thats a miracle. A teenager who says no to drugs and yes to an education-- Thats a Miracle. People want me to do everything for them... but what they dont realise is, is they have the power.
God: Don't make Miracles, son. Be the miracle.
Bruce: Wait, are you leaving?
God: yeah, I think you can manage from here.
Bruce: But what if I need you, what if i have questions?
God: Ah haha, thats your problem, Bruce. Thats everybody's problem, you keep looking up.
This is perfectly logical, God's all busy making more planets and stuff, he cant afford these intrusions, and if given no other option, you'll do it yourself anyway, because you, I-- nay, everyone, has the power.
If there is some benevolent force out there, a puppetmaster of impeccable and unfathomable pulchritude, intelligence and vim, he's not going to give a satanic shit what we think or what we do, honestly, you people think the creator of galaxies millionfold has time to give each some attention? That would be a proposterous waste of time he/they/it/she/whom could be better using on galactic birthing.
While I am certainly not religious, I'm far from ingnostic. I have witnessed miracles happen, and I beleive magic is real, and if me beleiving hard enough makes it slighty less fake, then i will beleive as hard as I can, I have witnessed circumstancial oddities that could not be accredited to mere coincidence alone, I have seen the smug cowl Gal'vana shows, the bitter face Heldath shows, the neutral complacence the Necropolis shows, all have been foils for my curiosity, and all have assured me that no matter how much people disbeleive, there is always magic in the world, no matter how primitive the life forms, or how stone set their ideals of science.
But yeah, beleive what you want if you so badly need a godly father figure to look up to. Thats basically what religion comes down to, if your religious, chances are you suffer from insecurity issues, and beleive you arent whole. Not everyone gets to feel 100% happy with their existence like I do I guess.
I think thats it for now. I dont feel the need to break my old record yet.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Happy Independence Day America.
Enjoy your day of pissdrinking and dangerous fireworks riding, while we over here in Australia do that on a daily basis and the day in which it is only more excessive is 28/1 or 1/28 for your country, which marks Australia day, the day where you can get pissed to absolution and eat snags/shoot fireworks and no one will think less of you. In other words its everyday except without work and with more angry butthurt natives.
I love this country.
I love this country.
Friday, June 29, 2012
The biggest rambliest wall of text yet!
If anyone has noticed my lack on blogging it can be pinned to the fact I've been trying to decide on a studio name, since associating my company with a famous character in a game that is not so famous apparently associates me with furfags and fuck that bullocks, the last thing I need is to be associated with those wankers.
It also can likely be acreditted to the fact I've been playing games and have been unable to care due to the fact I've been playing Just Cause 2, so here it is, ramblomatic post number something something, pertaining to first person shooters and how they have eventually gotten worse and even more after that.
Back in my early days I played the infamously ruined DooM series, no I didn't play DooM 3... I played Doom 95, Doom II, Doom: Plutonia Project and Doom TNT.
In other words, every doom game that hasn't been afflicted with new generation syndrome, or NGS as I will call it from now on, hope you dont skim this otherwise you might end up having to reread to the point at which I said what it stands for to solve your curiosity.
I also played Heretic, Quake, Quake II and Hexen II, and i still play those games nowadays because they are fun and have multiple ways you can finish the levels, theres speedrunning it, or if you dont know where the exit is you might end up visiting about 5 secrets and kill every baddie on the level before you find the friendly pink dog... think waiting at the exit to give you a nice puppy bite.
I also played a few games from that Era that I couldnt buy back then, such as Duke Nukem 3D and regular Hexen and bot have the pleasing sense of fast-paced good feeling gunslinging with the only linear feeling being that I have to find the exit somehow, even though once you've killed all the monsters and nabbed all the items theres only so much to do before you have to say enough is enough and finish the stage, it makes you satisfied knowing that you had your fun, and if you did do everything then you might see a screen like this at the end.
Kills: 100%
Items: 100%
Secrets: 100%
And the fun never stopped until you finished the completely absurd amount of levels, usually any one of these games had 30 levels at release and expansions only help with the fact, Heretic was given two extra acts in Shadows of the Damned and the same followed with DooM, and thats before you even brought the modding community into it.
The other things I liked about DooM or Heretic or any other first gen shooter, was that you had no gun hold limit, your only limit was your ammo, which on higher difficulties was usually aburdly difficult to acquire so you had to conserve it and use the chainsaw and pistol, or Gauntlets of the Necromancer and Crystal Wand. There's a certain amount of satisfaction brought on by narrowly avoiding death by strafing to the left and picking up a medkit and even more satisfaction when you turn around and kill the tenacious flying shit who was shooting his fireballs at your last % or chain-link of health.
Asides from that it was fun and still is to this day, I wouldn't be playing it still otherwise, now that I've told you all about first person shooters that are good and proven that its not rose-tinted because my opinion still stands and I still play the games, lets review games that have succumbed to NGS.
The only one of these I've actually played is Quake 4, that is to say the only one of these rebranded classics I was stupid enough to purchase, DooM 3 has suffered the same NGS label and for the record this new generation is outrageously shitty and once you've played one you've played them all.
I have a feeling the urge to make realistic shooters was behind this change, where the word "realistic" can be in summarized in quotation marks as large as Microsoft Word will permit, if it were realistic I would have to find medkits because unless humans have a hidden regeneration trick I dont know about this is complete bullocks, you dont get pumped full of led, and then hide behind cover and return good as new, thats not realistic, thats just stupid.
A thing I often hear about DooM being unrealistic is by the fact that a single man can carry tonnes of heavy ammunition and weaponry and run around faster than a saint bernard. Yes thats unrealistic, only a train could carry 10 different weapons with multiple rounds of ammunition for each at the steady pace of a saint bernard, flying cargo ships would only be faster and trucks would be realistically slow.
The thing is that trying to make weight realistic has to limit either the freedom of how many guns you carry or how fast you run, and both are very bad gameplay wise, there are ofcourse unrealistic alternatives, such as a magical rift that serves the purpose of keeping your inventory in easy reach without limiting your speed and ofcourse theres the issue of simply lighter ammo, heretic did both of these unintensionally, since it was medieval fantasy it could be creative with weapons and ammo, the equivalent of the shotgun from doom was the 'ethereal crossbow' that used 'ethereal bolts' as ammo and since its ethereal you would instantly be under the impression it could weigh far less than its futuristic counterpart, its a wooden crossbow thats ammo might be essentially weightless, a lot of the other ammo was in the form of orbs, which float above the ground so they likely weigh nothing, the crystal wand is just a small amber gem on the end of the staff you attack with, the dragon claw is a weapon so small it fits on two fingers, the hellstaff is the staff bathed in hell, so it has a slightly weighty skull on it now, the pheonix rod is a short staturesque golden rod with a small ruby in the head and its likely the heaviest item just because of the gold, and the last weapon was a spikey ball launcher thing, which did look heavy but when you take medieval into context these are guys who held long swords made of iron and sometimes two of them, as well as rations and their heavy armor.
Corvus only wears robes so he has the gift of no armour to weigh him down and the strength of what men did back in the 1200's so him wielding three rather heavy items, Gauntlets of the Necromancer, a Rod of Gold and the only way to beat D'sparil with relative ease spikey ball launcher thingy its not very unrealistic at all, honestly I'd say it felt he was carrying too little, mind you im taking out of the equation how many quartz flasks, invincibility rings, powerful books and everlasting torches he may be carrying, but thats still pretty fundamental, where as modern humans dont have the strength we did back in the year twelve hundred and whatever, and our weapons have only gotten heavier, so while DooM 95 isnt realistic in weight Heretic apparently is, also you get bags of holding so those spikey balls are taken care of and its likely you put your other weapons in their asides from the one your making craters in an imps face with.
I assume the bags of holding are enchanted because frankly what isnt in that game.
Now I'll get to the other issue with more recent FPS's with NGS and thats the blatant linearity and forced storytelling, just because your story is about World War II doesnt mean we want to hear your sick little twist on it, and the stories for the game have just as much depth as their fun predocessors, it amounts to kill all the bad guys, except instead of demons or cult members the bad guys are now Russians, Japs, Brits Aliens or fucking Zombies.
Fighting Aliens is okay, and I have no qualms with ripping Japan a new one just because I could pretend I was on a mission to kill all the little tits I have to put up with who rub manga and anime in my face.
Since America alone is responsible for this dross it always centres itself as the hero, lets face it this is immutable in just how sickeningly true it is, how many First person Shooters have you played where America is the enemy and you are fighting them as Japanese, or Brits or such.
Just because the enemy is zombies and they could be american doesnt do it justice, since america is still the heroes fighting the zombies, the same goes for aliens, its just america playing it off as being the hero.
I dont think there has been a film hollywood have produced where america didnt win in the end, if there country was being plagued by baddies, good examples come to mind like independence day, alien versus predator, war of the worlds, godzilla yadda fucking yadda.
Atleast in Independence Day the Aliens actually started the debacle while humans were uncharacteristically on rooftops posing with signs saying "yo sup sup, welcome to Planet Earth, we have some cool places you could visit, and thanks for visiting too, its so nice to see that we arent alone in this universe after all, unaware they were that the ship that crashed in area 51 had still living aliens in it that the government took in to experiment on and likely did a multitude of acts that displeased the aliens such as vivisection, nerve therapy and blood transfusion before locking them in a glass test tube for what would equate to the rest of god damn eternity, no shit aliens make a move after you make an unintended message of one of their colleagues, also its quite likely theyve been watching us for a while and seen loads of our stupid shit. So I say go aliens, thanks for foreshadowing the destruction of one of the world trade centres by our own stupidity.
I'm not joking, the mothership had its ion laser shit out of its bottom like projected diarreah at a skyscraper that looked quite similar to the world trade centre that was bombed only years after.
I dont think I would even really mind this so much if the games where you wiped out an entire sect of europe or asia were actually fun, but nooo... we have to be "realistic" and limit your freedom and fun with the game rather than learn from our reviewers that arent hired to pile 5 star ratings onto our newest sight-seeing tour and compliment our playerbase on their ideas because they are hapless sheep who have never played a good FPS and only know the 'kill this nation' simulator we have today.
The only FPS's that have come out recently that were actually good and fun were just about any of valve's releases in the last 2 years and Tribes Ascend, which has shown how FPS's should be done and should be the only one raking in multiple millions of dollars, but no they are on a microtransaction model and you can play the game pretty much limitlessly for free.
Modern Borefare and Twattlefield ask for 90 dollars and if you play them on XBOX you are ofcoursed charged just for playing with 5 or so other droids who will yell at you if you dont shoot some spec on the horizon with the rocket launcher.
The linear level design simply fails when compared to the FPS' of old aswell, its basically a sight-seeing tour through a brown and bloom world ravaged by war where the notion of fun doesnt exist and all the characters are as boring as the hellhole they live in, if I ever get the tools to make a first person shooter without needing to know coding it wont follow your stupid "realism" filter at all, I've already thought of an idea for such a game already, which I will now describe simply because I want to.
Hellcat: The Nightmare Begins, similar in build to how DooM plays, you go around as a deep red and gray-black marsupial cat that looks like a stocky kangaroo, his starting weapon, that is to say... the equivalent of the pistol, will be a 16 Barrel Pistol as depicted here.
Your melee attack will likely be a scratch, or maybe a tail whack, and the upgraded melee attack will probably be something like the Hellsaw, except more funny, like perhaps pulling a sign post out of your hammerspace and using that, actually I am going to do that, imagine how satisfying it would be to kill a boss entirely with a wooden signpost saying 'Space for rent'.
Then you get other weapons like the Plasma Splitter, an electrically sparkling fuumar (Giant Shuriken) that comes back after youve thrown it, so its essentially an ammoless weapon but thats okay because you have to get it back before you can throw it again.
The Nuematic Disk would be a floating disc of arcane energy that hovers around you and hits enemies thet get too close, and I plan that you could shoot these without much delay and have over 5 at a time surrounding you character, but theyd fade shortly, the ones in the RPG version only last for one cycle around your character, but they are effective since unlike in the FPS you dont have Ammo in the RPG because Im using an old version of Vlads ABS which supports ammo about as well as I support his newer releases.
Then we have a pretty cool idea which is the scatter cannon, not to be confused with the direction based scattergun from TF2 the Scatter Cannon can rapidly shoot decent sized orbs of energy that travel at lightning speeds and have no set course or homing stratagem, their path is completely random so basically it can end up clearing a room of monsters with only pressing a button about 10 times, it serves as the 'oh shit' button and will have you rely completely on luck, which is probably a fresh inovation to the FPS Genre, even the classics like Doom and its clones were dismissive off such an idea for a gun.
The Railgun, basically from Quake III, serves as the deathshot sniper rifle we know and love except without a cooldown.
Then we have The FRG, or 'The Fucking Ridiculous Gun', its title being a subtle acrynomic reference to DooM's superweapon the BFG or 'The Big Fucking Gun.' Being limited by VX's field of play I can't say I'm sure what this will do yet, I plan to make it creative though, perhaps it will launch 20 cans of BOMB soda, and when they explode it will make 'slurrrup ah!' sound to signify how fucking delicious that BOMB was to that enemies now non-existent face!
Speaking of Enemies and the general Story arc, I tempted to have a game where we are ripping america a new one as the bitter europians, australians and asians we are and the ending would consist of me and my pals saying its finally over and then proceeding to teabag each and every pride failed corpse of a now cityless nation. I would have done that if it didnt mean losing half of my fanbase, so I am subjected to reveal that we're killing angels, which i dont care about revealing because any christian still within my fanbase is either a sensible person or hasn't played Intelligence yet.
So incase the title on the silly image above wasnt bloody obvious enough I made the games name based on the Character Hellcat, who may be strikingly familiar if you are one of the people who actually played Intelligence, so with such a name surely he has a backstory to tell for it, well yes, I had given a few subtle hints in the past, subtle hints such as two entire table-top games, a 50 page book in minecraft and an entire level in minecraft called Hellcat: School of Hell aswell.
The backstory is that he has been to Hell, (or Heldath) Heaven, (or Gal'vana) the Necropolis and back, where he learns about the three worlds after life in the best way imaginable, have a neat little visit, he soon realises that Galvanians are more capital douches than Hellions ever could be, The leader of Heldath... Seradath isnt as evil and fiery as Gal'dath would have mortals beleive, and the image of him as a skull-adorned red fiery asshole is through the use of Divine books, yes I refer to the fucking bible.
Seradath is actually pretty wise, he does have an icy demeanor around those he doesnt know and those he knows too well, such as Gal'dath, but mind you I'd be pretty bitter about a guy who kicked you to some ugly shithole under the earth and then starting a war with you, so I guess its pretty fucking validated, it holds true to the death count as well, Seradath killed 100 people and Gal'dath has killed ten million whatsoevers so in the case of the bible im going to say God is an insane fucking murderer and Satan is just a guy who has sporadic murderous outbursts and the rest of the time hes just happy being in hell.
I read someones evaluation on the body count for God vs Satan, and Satans number of kills compared to gods is like comparing me and John Romero to our frag count on Quake III Arena, beleive it or not John Remero is god and I'm Satan and im shit at Quake III and John had a hand in developing it and is apparently pro going by Notch.
So yeah, I'd love to give a source for it but I've lost the link and I dont really care.
So story synopsis:
Hellcat is just fucking around in his condo at Brisbane (its the mansion in Intelligence) when he goes to walk outside and finds himself falling down a huge pit of hellfire, when he lands he finds himself in what could only be described as the middle of a Red Cordial factory accident, but it is infact Heldath, not sure why he has been damned since hes only been a good little camper in life and cant recall any event that would damn him except that one time he stuffed his face at a wedding he wasnt invited to, he is soon greeted by a character called 'Black Death' who informs him that he is needed at the front and dont worry Seradath will explain everything, they then have a duel for an unspecified reason outside of getting you used to boss mechanics, which are basically anything you can do with events, and then she teleports out, leaving only the Plasma Splitter behind, which Hellcat takes and uses from that point on.
You then go up an impressive flight of dangerous stairs you really dont want to fall down until you reach the pretentiously named Seradath City, which fades from dark red blackdead to ice blue scoop or two in the way of Terrain and scenery, you are then given a few quests to prove yourself worthy of entering Seradath's stronghold, which involve two fetch quests and a kill quest, while the concept is simple the fetch quests are divided up by puzzles and platforming to keep it entertaining, and the kill quest also gets a relatively difficult boss which is lets just face it... INTENSE!
Though if you are good at top down Action RPGS or top down shooters you can avoid getting hit entirely even when two huge waves of douche bolts streak across the screen or 10 douche orbs are summoned and chase you down.
The Boss uses a simple long range Douche Ball attack for regular hits, but dont be fooled, he is still difficult and intense! I've died to him myself just because I didnt dodge the douche bolt enough and forgot to press 'Q' to chug a health pot.
The Fetch quests are to get a Red Skull Key and a Yellow Skull key, you need both to enter the Citadel of Icecrown emptytown, you are then instructed by Seradath, given some plot info which ive likely spoiled already, and then you are immediately sent off on a mission to conquer Gal'vana with an army of impressive size, you lead the Seraphs, of Seradaths army, har har.
That wasnt on purpose it just so happened to be useful now, even though I've made subtle hints that Seradath was a character for a long time, subtle hints such as an entire fucking 7 hour game, I doubt any of you remember the pathetic excuse for 2 years of wasted development. It was called Terra and Seradath was the Antagonist and final boss x4 since he has immortal properties and in the end the Protoganist uses his 'pure heart ragnarok reacharound macguffin' and finally kills him for good.
Being that Terra's story was about as original as a poor mans version of Final Fantasy X, which ironically enough was already a poor mans version of star wars, I will now happily say that none of Terra's Story was canon and that Valin simply doesnt exist.
Trixie does though because me making an item with her name in it in Intelligence creates the unfortunate reality that it is now canon, however I can atleast do my part and have her not look like she bought her dress from hot topic because it was the only thing small enough to fit on her tiny monkey body, that she didnt have to pull over her big head because its 4 times bigger than it should b.
For reference on what the fuck I'm on about, this is how Trixie looked.
Now that I've killed the eyes of any last remnants of you that dislike my colouring, i'll get back to the synopsis, events unfold and twists are in play which I wont spoil and then you somehow end up in the Necropolis.
Thats the basic story, and as you might guess its going to be pretty short, I have plans to give Nola some backstory and reference another game I'm making which will explain Nola's love for Pep in Intelligence, she really gets around that woman.
And while the story will be there more than it was in DooM where all you had to go by was what you killed and a monologue at the end of each chapter it wont feel so lengthy like it did in Intelligence.
It will give you an idea of whats going on and let you know the characters while weaving exposition into the story instead of handing out a fucking notebook.
While I'm sure people didnt play Intelligence only for the story since despite a few oddities its pretty generic, "chosen ones must face ancient evil blah blah blah" was a plot that was inevitable, I really tried to avoid the chosen ones trope but how else was I to explain you getting a free ride out of the Necropolis, well actually that statement is pretty silly, since Limbo is just standing on the street when you meet him and he later returns to battle after being killed canoically for about 5 fucking seconds by a rather disparite boss to the one you were expecting.
Anyway I'm actually going to base the Necropolis on my original concept of it even if it means I have to parralax map, the Necropolis I had in mind was not the necropolis that I ended up using for Intelligence because the necropolis I had in mind was 10x larger than the already supermassive place that Intelligence features, and that has been cut up multiple times already.
The Necropolis I imagine is a futuristic floating city of death, relatively similar to the Necropolis in Heroes of Might and Magic but advanced by several thousand years, the image I used for the false Necropolis loading screen was found from a google image search and is funnily enough from Heroes of Might and Magic. If it wasnt obvious I mean this one.
The one in my head has multi-floor looming skyscrapers and 8 sectors instead of four, so it would end up similar to Midgar from FF7, with much more daily dose and even more black.
Unlike the legend breaking dissapointment that was Puke Dukem Pornever or Take Four, I will not stoop to the shitty disease of NGS, much like the team behind Tribes Ascend and the company of Valve I realise that this New Generation is a cancer that can only bring fun to incomptent twats who were born in 2000 beyond or simply never played a Good FPS, that is to say, one that doesnt replace fun with realism, there is nothing fun about Quake 4, honestly the most joy I got out of it was the point at which I got to kill my friend when he turned strogg, because it was funny to be able to silence that guffawing shit. Then I re-entered the brown and bloom halls of boring linear progress and continued shooting my weapons that felt about as good as a floppy one, the jump scares were the only scares and the game felt like a really dried out prune in atmosphere, the world building was complete shit, since nothing resembled anything in Quake 2 or before, even the Strogg were strangely different and I didnt feel like I was playing a Quake game, I felt like I was playing really grotesque real life, and heres the summary of all this.
If you want to play 'Realism Shooters' why not go ahead and play real life, join the army and wield a gun you gigantic fucking pussy, then if you die atleast you might have been remotely good for something, because currently if you enjoy realism shooters all your doing is ruining the FPS industry as a whole and if you all die by some virus brought on by playing realism shooters no one is going to fucking miss you.
Now on the happier less hatred wrought side of the spectrum I'm going to do a mini-review on a game I bought recently and that is rocking my very foundation.
Actually we've had quite a good bit of luck with sandboxes lately, Skyrim, Saints Row the Third and Grand Theft Auto 4: Episodes from Liberty City have all come out recently as in, within the last year, though GTA4 EFLC doesnt bring me in as much as Saints Row the Third it has a lot more in the way of exploration and I was impressed with the subway feature, also the strip clubs are one of only two things that help me to jack off so no reason to hate.
But this game is a year older in retrospect but I only bought it yesterday, Just Cause 2: Grappling simulator twenty-ten, this is the best sandbox I've played to date, even outdoing skyrim, with a world that could almost be the size of Russia and a weapon set that feels as good to fire as your mum is to please at my place, it features limitless grappling from tree to rooftop to that enemies truck, which makes it feel like I'm spiderman, you can also tie two things together, which is a lot of fun, you cant tell me that you dont get satisfaction out of grappling two enemies and watching them flail against each other like fisher price ragdolls, you can also grapple onto just about any... okay you can grapple onto any surface asides from item crates and event tyres, I remember once doubting I could grapple into the thin post of a streetglight, only to find out that you not only can, but you can stay up there and watch the cars go by like your batman, this brings a lot of added fun to combat and with such a massive gameworld you do need to get around. I remember once I had an enemy vehicle chasing me that I'd already dispatched the gun man of by roping him to the back of his pilots ride and watching him get dragged along as a lifeless corpse, I then flung my hookshot into the front of his vehicle and then shot the other end at a palm tree just as he passed it, and after only two seconds his ride had flung around the tree like a ball on totem tennis-- what made it so fun was that it was pretty hard to do right, since the enemies ride armoured jeeps its rarely they go spinning out of control before the tether snaps, so not only was i rewarded for trying to associate my enemies with the immutable fact that you should give trees more love, but it was a once off that I have tried to repeat and had difficulty, when it happened I was bursting with giggling laughter which you only usually hear from excited japanese school girls, I like the ideas of some of the weapons to, such as the sawed off shotgun which was a one handed shotgun that was easier to find than its two handed counterpart and from what I could tell had no disabilities for the sake of balance, I would never have contemplated duelwielding them though since getting amo for one of them is hard enough without having to serve two, i've only actually done up the 'choose a faction' mission to find where some guy is, but its perfectly okay because the sandboxing has me covered, its everything a sandbox should be, the only complaint I have is that you cant enter any buildings, but with a gameworld that likely could occupy half of the downunder I'm willing to let that slide since Saints Row the Third is almost the same, if i ever make a sandbox it will likely not be as big as Just Cause's world because its very hard to resist copypasting, I would also give every skyscraper, house and dwelling of any sort an interior, this is a frustation I have in particular with Saints Row the Third where they have a club that promises peepshows or strippng nudes or something else that would serve the purpose of letting me jack off, but the door is just a part of the environment, and my ready willy remains floppy.
Atleast in SR2 you could enter more houses and shops than the ones that served a purpose, and some even had half nude chicks in them, for interiors I'm going to say GTA4 wins the mark here though, being able to actually hop on the subway and get around quickly was something they forgot to put in in SR2 even though they did have a train go all around the city. GTA4 also introduced more open shops, including a strip club where you can actually pay to have attractive women take everything off, no I shit you not, theres boobs, bum and all walk into a private room and give you a personal lapdance, if you do it three times another joins you and they have pretend lesbian eroticism, it even has a three-way direction camera, this and deviant art are the only 'safe' means of which ive had to jack off in the last 6 years and will continue to be for the remaining six until I become a wizard.
Yes I know it sounds ludicrous that being a virgin until you are thirty gives you wizard powers but I cant help but think its a little true, and if not I can be an ironically shitty wizard. The reason i hold stock in it is because there has to be SOME magic in the world, I mean we wouldn't have burnt all those wiccan in the purge if they didnt have the ability to do some form of black magic, and the red indians have certainly shown some sort of magic with their pow-pow shamanism, and the fact they still do this amazes me and I respect that a lot in a world where society has grown apathetic to magic of any kind and kids have their childhood ruined by their parents telling them Mary Poppins is a fraud or that the Genie in Aladin doesnt live in disneyland and cannot grant each person three wishes on account of him being a cartoon. Parents and siblings who know better are real shits sometimes, but I wont go into that.
Anyway for the example of magic I gave above about wiccan and the purge and black magic, its that witches were conceptualized as older crones, asides from good witches because the good side always has to have hot chicks everywhere.
I imagine they were all virgins given the strict influence of god at that time and it so happened one of them found a way to utilize black magic at around 30 and trained herself and others over the span of years and eventually decided men were being too sexist and rightly fucking so and gave them a dose of a medicine they couldnt have, and so the men replied like absolute douches by burning them all on a stake.
Fucking hell, its no wonder no aliens who know better than we do haven't come by for a tea party, looking at the history of humans and all the inconceivably dumb and brutal acts weve comitted probably makes us the laughing stock of the entire fucking universe. I know somewhere across the timeless expanse of space some innocent alien teenager watching EARTH on the outsider channel is going to be laughing his first laugh of evil when we eventually blow ourselves up like unspeakable twats, his evil will be shortly followed by a sigh of relief that we never invented trans-planetary travel like I predicted we would in Intelligence and then followed by silence as he meditates to cleanse him of such evil thoughts.
If Planet Irk truly exists and the Irken have found out that they were infact right, and that Earth isnt useful even as a giant storage planet for their gratituous amount of snacks, then maybe we can be blessed by the fact we'll get to see an Armada that has topped every warband of ships ever seen, including the Spanish Royal Navy which was burned by "fiery pride" and the Imperial Star Destroyer fleet in star wars, well okay maybe not that.
But still, the Irken Armada is Pretty Impressive and is one of the few times watching local media I've been doubtful that the protagonist was going to fucking win like they tend too.
Now I'm going to end this here, since this has become likely the most verbose and lengthy ramble on this entire babble blog and I have more I want to talk about and will get to it eventually.
It also can likely be acreditted to the fact I've been playing games and have been unable to care due to the fact I've been playing Just Cause 2, so here it is, ramblomatic post number something something, pertaining to first person shooters and how they have eventually gotten worse and even more after that.
Back in my early days I played the infamously ruined DooM series, no I didn't play DooM 3... I played Doom 95, Doom II, Doom: Plutonia Project and Doom TNT.
In other words, every doom game that hasn't been afflicted with new generation syndrome, or NGS as I will call it from now on, hope you dont skim this otherwise you might end up having to reread to the point at which I said what it stands for to solve your curiosity.
I also played Heretic, Quake, Quake II and Hexen II, and i still play those games nowadays because they are fun and have multiple ways you can finish the levels, theres speedrunning it, or if you dont know where the exit is you might end up visiting about 5 secrets and kill every baddie on the level before you find the friendly pink dog... think waiting at the exit to give you a nice puppy bite.
I also played a few games from that Era that I couldnt buy back then, such as Duke Nukem 3D and regular Hexen and bot have the pleasing sense of fast-paced good feeling gunslinging with the only linear feeling being that I have to find the exit somehow, even though once you've killed all the monsters and nabbed all the items theres only so much to do before you have to say enough is enough and finish the stage, it makes you satisfied knowing that you had your fun, and if you did do everything then you might see a screen like this at the end.
Kills: 100%
Items: 100%
Secrets: 100%
And the fun never stopped until you finished the completely absurd amount of levels, usually any one of these games had 30 levels at release and expansions only help with the fact, Heretic was given two extra acts in Shadows of the Damned and the same followed with DooM, and thats before you even brought the modding community into it.
The other things I liked about DooM or Heretic or any other first gen shooter, was that you had no gun hold limit, your only limit was your ammo, which on higher difficulties was usually aburdly difficult to acquire so you had to conserve it and use the chainsaw and pistol, or Gauntlets of the Necromancer and Crystal Wand. There's a certain amount of satisfaction brought on by narrowly avoiding death by strafing to the left and picking up a medkit and even more satisfaction when you turn around and kill the tenacious flying shit who was shooting his fireballs at your last % or chain-link of health.
Asides from that it was fun and still is to this day, I wouldn't be playing it still otherwise, now that I've told you all about first person shooters that are good and proven that its not rose-tinted because my opinion still stands and I still play the games, lets review games that have succumbed to NGS.
The only one of these I've actually played is Quake 4, that is to say the only one of these rebranded classics I was stupid enough to purchase, DooM 3 has suffered the same NGS label and for the record this new generation is outrageously shitty and once you've played one you've played them all.
I have a feeling the urge to make realistic shooters was behind this change, where the word "realistic" can be in summarized in quotation marks as large as Microsoft Word will permit, if it were realistic I would have to find medkits because unless humans have a hidden regeneration trick I dont know about this is complete bullocks, you dont get pumped full of led, and then hide behind cover and return good as new, thats not realistic, thats just stupid.
A thing I often hear about DooM being unrealistic is by the fact that a single man can carry tonnes of heavy ammunition and weaponry and run around faster than a saint bernard. Yes thats unrealistic, only a train could carry 10 different weapons with multiple rounds of ammunition for each at the steady pace of a saint bernard, flying cargo ships would only be faster and trucks would be realistically slow.
The thing is that trying to make weight realistic has to limit either the freedom of how many guns you carry or how fast you run, and both are very bad gameplay wise, there are ofcourse unrealistic alternatives, such as a magical rift that serves the purpose of keeping your inventory in easy reach without limiting your speed and ofcourse theres the issue of simply lighter ammo, heretic did both of these unintensionally, since it was medieval fantasy it could be creative with weapons and ammo, the equivalent of the shotgun from doom was the 'ethereal crossbow' that used 'ethereal bolts' as ammo and since its ethereal you would instantly be under the impression it could weigh far less than its futuristic counterpart, its a wooden crossbow thats ammo might be essentially weightless, a lot of the other ammo was in the form of orbs, which float above the ground so they likely weigh nothing, the crystal wand is just a small amber gem on the end of the staff you attack with, the dragon claw is a weapon so small it fits on two fingers, the hellstaff is the staff bathed in hell, so it has a slightly weighty skull on it now, the pheonix rod is a short staturesque golden rod with a small ruby in the head and its likely the heaviest item just because of the gold, and the last weapon was a spikey ball launcher thing, which did look heavy but when you take medieval into context these are guys who held long swords made of iron and sometimes two of them, as well as rations and their heavy armor.
Corvus only wears robes so he has the gift of no armour to weigh him down and the strength of what men did back in the 1200's so him wielding three rather heavy items, Gauntlets of the Necromancer, a Rod of Gold and the only way to beat D'sparil with relative ease spikey ball launcher thingy its not very unrealistic at all, honestly I'd say it felt he was carrying too little, mind you im taking out of the equation how many quartz flasks, invincibility rings, powerful books and everlasting torches he may be carrying, but thats still pretty fundamental, where as modern humans dont have the strength we did back in the year twelve hundred and whatever, and our weapons have only gotten heavier, so while DooM 95 isnt realistic in weight Heretic apparently is, also you get bags of holding so those spikey balls are taken care of and its likely you put your other weapons in their asides from the one your making craters in an imps face with.
I assume the bags of holding are enchanted because frankly what isnt in that game.
Now I'll get to the other issue with more recent FPS's with NGS and thats the blatant linearity and forced storytelling, just because your story is about World War II doesnt mean we want to hear your sick little twist on it, and the stories for the game have just as much depth as their fun predocessors, it amounts to kill all the bad guys, except instead of demons or cult members the bad guys are now Russians, Japs, Brits Aliens or fucking Zombies.
Fighting Aliens is okay, and I have no qualms with ripping Japan a new one just because I could pretend I was on a mission to kill all the little tits I have to put up with who rub manga and anime in my face.
Since America alone is responsible for this dross it always centres itself as the hero, lets face it this is immutable in just how sickeningly true it is, how many First person Shooters have you played where America is the enemy and you are fighting them as Japanese, or Brits or such.
Just because the enemy is zombies and they could be american doesnt do it justice, since america is still the heroes fighting the zombies, the same goes for aliens, its just america playing it off as being the hero.
I dont think there has been a film hollywood have produced where america didnt win in the end, if there country was being plagued by baddies, good examples come to mind like independence day, alien versus predator, war of the worlds, godzilla yadda fucking yadda.
Atleast in Independence Day the Aliens actually started the debacle while humans were uncharacteristically on rooftops posing with signs saying "yo sup sup, welcome to Planet Earth, we have some cool places you could visit, and thanks for visiting too, its so nice to see that we arent alone in this universe after all, unaware they were that the ship that crashed in area 51 had still living aliens in it that the government took in to experiment on and likely did a multitude of acts that displeased the aliens such as vivisection, nerve therapy and blood transfusion before locking them in a glass test tube for what would equate to the rest of god damn eternity, no shit aliens make a move after you make an unintended message of one of their colleagues, also its quite likely theyve been watching us for a while and seen loads of our stupid shit. So I say go aliens, thanks for foreshadowing the destruction of one of the world trade centres by our own stupidity.
I'm not joking, the mothership had its ion laser shit out of its bottom like projected diarreah at a skyscraper that looked quite similar to the world trade centre that was bombed only years after.
I dont think I would even really mind this so much if the games where you wiped out an entire sect of europe or asia were actually fun, but nooo... we have to be "realistic" and limit your freedom and fun with the game rather than learn from our reviewers that arent hired to pile 5 star ratings onto our newest sight-seeing tour and compliment our playerbase on their ideas because they are hapless sheep who have never played a good FPS and only know the 'kill this nation' simulator we have today.
The only FPS's that have come out recently that were actually good and fun were just about any of valve's releases in the last 2 years and Tribes Ascend, which has shown how FPS's should be done and should be the only one raking in multiple millions of dollars, but no they are on a microtransaction model and you can play the game pretty much limitlessly for free.
Modern Borefare and Twattlefield ask for 90 dollars and if you play them on XBOX you are ofcoursed charged just for playing with 5 or so other droids who will yell at you if you dont shoot some spec on the horizon with the rocket launcher.
The linear level design simply fails when compared to the FPS' of old aswell, its basically a sight-seeing tour through a brown and bloom world ravaged by war where the notion of fun doesnt exist and all the characters are as boring as the hellhole they live in, if I ever get the tools to make a first person shooter without needing to know coding it wont follow your stupid "realism" filter at all, I've already thought of an idea for such a game already, which I will now describe simply because I want to.
Hellcat: The Nightmare Begins, similar in build to how DooM plays, you go around as a deep red and gray-black marsupial cat that looks like a stocky kangaroo, his starting weapon, that is to say... the equivalent of the pistol, will be a 16 Barrel Pistol as depicted here.
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| Yeah... |
Then you get other weapons like the Plasma Splitter, an electrically sparkling fuumar (Giant Shuriken) that comes back after youve thrown it, so its essentially an ammoless weapon but thats okay because you have to get it back before you can throw it again.
The Nuematic Disk would be a floating disc of arcane energy that hovers around you and hits enemies thet get too close, and I plan that you could shoot these without much delay and have over 5 at a time surrounding you character, but theyd fade shortly, the ones in the RPG version only last for one cycle around your character, but they are effective since unlike in the FPS you dont have Ammo in the RPG because Im using an old version of Vlads ABS which supports ammo about as well as I support his newer releases.
Then we have a pretty cool idea which is the scatter cannon, not to be confused with the direction based scattergun from TF2 the Scatter Cannon can rapidly shoot decent sized orbs of energy that travel at lightning speeds and have no set course or homing stratagem, their path is completely random so basically it can end up clearing a room of monsters with only pressing a button about 10 times, it serves as the 'oh shit' button and will have you rely completely on luck, which is probably a fresh inovation to the FPS Genre, even the classics like Doom and its clones were dismissive off such an idea for a gun.
The Railgun, basically from Quake III, serves as the deathshot sniper rifle we know and love except without a cooldown.
Then we have The FRG, or 'The Fucking Ridiculous Gun', its title being a subtle acrynomic reference to DooM's superweapon the BFG or 'The Big Fucking Gun.' Being limited by VX's field of play I can't say I'm sure what this will do yet, I plan to make it creative though, perhaps it will launch 20 cans of BOMB soda, and when they explode it will make 'slurrrup ah!' sound to signify how fucking delicious that BOMB was to that enemies now non-existent face!
Speaking of Enemies and the general Story arc, I tempted to have a game where we are ripping america a new one as the bitter europians, australians and asians we are and the ending would consist of me and my pals saying its finally over and then proceeding to teabag each and every pride failed corpse of a now cityless nation. I would have done that if it didnt mean losing half of my fanbase, so I am subjected to reveal that we're killing angels, which i dont care about revealing because any christian still within my fanbase is either a sensible person or hasn't played Intelligence yet.
So incase the title on the silly image above wasnt bloody obvious enough I made the games name based on the Character Hellcat, who may be strikingly familiar if you are one of the people who actually played Intelligence, so with such a name surely he has a backstory to tell for it, well yes, I had given a few subtle hints in the past, subtle hints such as two entire table-top games, a 50 page book in minecraft and an entire level in minecraft called Hellcat: School of Hell aswell.
The backstory is that he has been to Hell, (or Heldath) Heaven, (or Gal'vana) the Necropolis and back, where he learns about the three worlds after life in the best way imaginable, have a neat little visit, he soon realises that Galvanians are more capital douches than Hellions ever could be, The leader of Heldath... Seradath isnt as evil and fiery as Gal'dath would have mortals beleive, and the image of him as a skull-adorned red fiery asshole is through the use of Divine books, yes I refer to the fucking bible.
Seradath is actually pretty wise, he does have an icy demeanor around those he doesnt know and those he knows too well, such as Gal'dath, but mind you I'd be pretty bitter about a guy who kicked you to some ugly shithole under the earth and then starting a war with you, so I guess its pretty fucking validated, it holds true to the death count as well, Seradath killed 100 people and Gal'dath has killed ten million whatsoevers so in the case of the bible im going to say God is an insane fucking murderer and Satan is just a guy who has sporadic murderous outbursts and the rest of the time hes just happy being in hell.
I read someones evaluation on the body count for God vs Satan, and Satans number of kills compared to gods is like comparing me and John Romero to our frag count on Quake III Arena, beleive it or not John Remero is god and I'm Satan and im shit at Quake III and John had a hand in developing it and is apparently pro going by Notch.
So yeah, I'd love to give a source for it but I've lost the link and I dont really care.
So story synopsis:
Hellcat is just fucking around in his condo at Brisbane (its the mansion in Intelligence) when he goes to walk outside and finds himself falling down a huge pit of hellfire, when he lands he finds himself in what could only be described as the middle of a Red Cordial factory accident, but it is infact Heldath, not sure why he has been damned since hes only been a good little camper in life and cant recall any event that would damn him except that one time he stuffed his face at a wedding he wasnt invited to, he is soon greeted by a character called 'Black Death' who informs him that he is needed at the front and dont worry Seradath will explain everything, they then have a duel for an unspecified reason outside of getting you used to boss mechanics, which are basically anything you can do with events, and then she teleports out, leaving only the Plasma Splitter behind, which Hellcat takes and uses from that point on.
You then go up an impressive flight of dangerous stairs you really dont want to fall down until you reach the pretentiously named Seradath City, which fades from dark red blackdead to ice blue scoop or two in the way of Terrain and scenery, you are then given a few quests to prove yourself worthy of entering Seradath's stronghold, which involve two fetch quests and a kill quest, while the concept is simple the fetch quests are divided up by puzzles and platforming to keep it entertaining, and the kill quest also gets a relatively difficult boss which is lets just face it... INTENSE!
Though if you are good at top down Action RPGS or top down shooters you can avoid getting hit entirely even when two huge waves of douche bolts streak across the screen or 10 douche orbs are summoned and chase you down.
The Boss uses a simple long range Douche Ball attack for regular hits, but dont be fooled, he is still difficult and intense! I've died to him myself just because I didnt dodge the douche bolt enough and forgot to press 'Q' to chug a health pot.
The Fetch quests are to get a Red Skull Key and a Yellow Skull key, you need both to enter the Citadel of Icecrown emptytown, you are then instructed by Seradath, given some plot info which ive likely spoiled already, and then you are immediately sent off on a mission to conquer Gal'vana with an army of impressive size, you lead the Seraphs, of Seradaths army, har har.
That wasnt on purpose it just so happened to be useful now, even though I've made subtle hints that Seradath was a character for a long time, subtle hints such as an entire fucking 7 hour game, I doubt any of you remember the pathetic excuse for 2 years of wasted development. It was called Terra and Seradath was the Antagonist and final boss x4 since he has immortal properties and in the end the Protoganist uses his 'pure heart ragnarok reacharound macguffin' and finally kills him for good.
Being that Terra's story was about as original as a poor mans version of Final Fantasy X, which ironically enough was already a poor mans version of star wars, I will now happily say that none of Terra's Story was canon and that Valin simply doesnt exist.
Trixie does though because me making an item with her name in it in Intelligence creates the unfortunate reality that it is now canon, however I can atleast do my part and have her not look like she bought her dress from hot topic because it was the only thing small enough to fit on her tiny monkey body, that she didnt have to pull over her big head because its 4 times bigger than it should b.
For reference on what the fuck I'm on about, this is how Trixie looked.
Thats the basic story, and as you might guess its going to be pretty short, I have plans to give Nola some backstory and reference another game I'm making which will explain Nola's love for Pep in Intelligence, she really gets around that woman.
And while the story will be there more than it was in DooM where all you had to go by was what you killed and a monologue at the end of each chapter it wont feel so lengthy like it did in Intelligence.
It will give you an idea of whats going on and let you know the characters while weaving exposition into the story instead of handing out a fucking notebook.
While I'm sure people didnt play Intelligence only for the story since despite a few oddities its pretty generic, "chosen ones must face ancient evil blah blah blah" was a plot that was inevitable, I really tried to avoid the chosen ones trope but how else was I to explain you getting a free ride out of the Necropolis, well actually that statement is pretty silly, since Limbo is just standing on the street when you meet him and he later returns to battle after being killed canoically for about 5 fucking seconds by a rather disparite boss to the one you were expecting.
Anyway I'm actually going to base the Necropolis on my original concept of it even if it means I have to parralax map, the Necropolis I had in mind was not the necropolis that I ended up using for Intelligence because the necropolis I had in mind was 10x larger than the already supermassive place that Intelligence features, and that has been cut up multiple times already.
The Necropolis I imagine is a futuristic floating city of death, relatively similar to the Necropolis in Heroes of Might and Magic but advanced by several thousand years, the image I used for the false Necropolis loading screen was found from a google image search and is funnily enough from Heroes of Might and Magic. If it wasnt obvious I mean this one.
The one in my head has multi-floor looming skyscrapers and 8 sectors instead of four, so it would end up similar to Midgar from FF7, with much more daily dose and even more black.
Unlike the legend breaking dissapointment that was Puke Dukem Pornever or Take Four, I will not stoop to the shitty disease of NGS, much like the team behind Tribes Ascend and the company of Valve I realise that this New Generation is a cancer that can only bring fun to incomptent twats who were born in 2000 beyond or simply never played a Good FPS, that is to say, one that doesnt replace fun with realism, there is nothing fun about Quake 4, honestly the most joy I got out of it was the point at which I got to kill my friend when he turned strogg, because it was funny to be able to silence that guffawing shit. Then I re-entered the brown and bloom halls of boring linear progress and continued shooting my weapons that felt about as good as a floppy one, the jump scares were the only scares and the game felt like a really dried out prune in atmosphere, the world building was complete shit, since nothing resembled anything in Quake 2 or before, even the Strogg were strangely different and I didnt feel like I was playing a Quake game, I felt like I was playing really grotesque real life, and heres the summary of all this.
If you want to play 'Realism Shooters' why not go ahead and play real life, join the army and wield a gun you gigantic fucking pussy, then if you die atleast you might have been remotely good for something, because currently if you enjoy realism shooters all your doing is ruining the FPS industry as a whole and if you all die by some virus brought on by playing realism shooters no one is going to fucking miss you.
Now on the happier less hatred wrought side of the spectrum I'm going to do a mini-review on a game I bought recently and that is rocking my very foundation.
Actually we've had quite a good bit of luck with sandboxes lately, Skyrim, Saints Row the Third and Grand Theft Auto 4: Episodes from Liberty City have all come out recently as in, within the last year, though GTA4 EFLC doesnt bring me in as much as Saints Row the Third it has a lot more in the way of exploration and I was impressed with the subway feature, also the strip clubs are one of only two things that help me to jack off so no reason to hate.
But this game is a year older in retrospect but I only bought it yesterday, Just Cause 2: Grappling simulator twenty-ten, this is the best sandbox I've played to date, even outdoing skyrim, with a world that could almost be the size of Russia and a weapon set that feels as good to fire as your mum is to please at my place, it features limitless grappling from tree to rooftop to that enemies truck, which makes it feel like I'm spiderman, you can also tie two things together, which is a lot of fun, you cant tell me that you dont get satisfaction out of grappling two enemies and watching them flail against each other like fisher price ragdolls, you can also grapple onto just about any... okay you can grapple onto any surface asides from item crates and event tyres, I remember once doubting I could grapple into the thin post of a streetglight, only to find out that you not only can, but you can stay up there and watch the cars go by like your batman, this brings a lot of added fun to combat and with such a massive gameworld you do need to get around. I remember once I had an enemy vehicle chasing me that I'd already dispatched the gun man of by roping him to the back of his pilots ride and watching him get dragged along as a lifeless corpse, I then flung my hookshot into the front of his vehicle and then shot the other end at a palm tree just as he passed it, and after only two seconds his ride had flung around the tree like a ball on totem tennis-- what made it so fun was that it was pretty hard to do right, since the enemies ride armoured jeeps its rarely they go spinning out of control before the tether snaps, so not only was i rewarded for trying to associate my enemies with the immutable fact that you should give trees more love, but it was a once off that I have tried to repeat and had difficulty, when it happened I was bursting with giggling laughter which you only usually hear from excited japanese school girls, I like the ideas of some of the weapons to, such as the sawed off shotgun which was a one handed shotgun that was easier to find than its two handed counterpart and from what I could tell had no disabilities for the sake of balance, I would never have contemplated duelwielding them though since getting amo for one of them is hard enough without having to serve two, i've only actually done up the 'choose a faction' mission to find where some guy is, but its perfectly okay because the sandboxing has me covered, its everything a sandbox should be, the only complaint I have is that you cant enter any buildings, but with a gameworld that likely could occupy half of the downunder I'm willing to let that slide since Saints Row the Third is almost the same, if i ever make a sandbox it will likely not be as big as Just Cause's world because its very hard to resist copypasting, I would also give every skyscraper, house and dwelling of any sort an interior, this is a frustation I have in particular with Saints Row the Third where they have a club that promises peepshows or strippng nudes or something else that would serve the purpose of letting me jack off, but the door is just a part of the environment, and my ready willy remains floppy.
Atleast in SR2 you could enter more houses and shops than the ones that served a purpose, and some even had half nude chicks in them, for interiors I'm going to say GTA4 wins the mark here though, being able to actually hop on the subway and get around quickly was something they forgot to put in in SR2 even though they did have a train go all around the city. GTA4 also introduced more open shops, including a strip club where you can actually pay to have attractive women take everything off, no I shit you not, theres boobs, bum and all walk into a private room and give you a personal lapdance, if you do it three times another joins you and they have pretend lesbian eroticism, it even has a three-way direction camera, this and deviant art are the only 'safe' means of which ive had to jack off in the last 6 years and will continue to be for the remaining six until I become a wizard.
Yes I know it sounds ludicrous that being a virgin until you are thirty gives you wizard powers but I cant help but think its a little true, and if not I can be an ironically shitty wizard. The reason i hold stock in it is because there has to be SOME magic in the world, I mean we wouldn't have burnt all those wiccan in the purge if they didnt have the ability to do some form of black magic, and the red indians have certainly shown some sort of magic with their pow-pow shamanism, and the fact they still do this amazes me and I respect that a lot in a world where society has grown apathetic to magic of any kind and kids have their childhood ruined by their parents telling them Mary Poppins is a fraud or that the Genie in Aladin doesnt live in disneyland and cannot grant each person three wishes on account of him being a cartoon. Parents and siblings who know better are real shits sometimes, but I wont go into that.
Anyway for the example of magic I gave above about wiccan and the purge and black magic, its that witches were conceptualized as older crones, asides from good witches because the good side always has to have hot chicks everywhere.
I imagine they were all virgins given the strict influence of god at that time and it so happened one of them found a way to utilize black magic at around 30 and trained herself and others over the span of years and eventually decided men were being too sexist and rightly fucking so and gave them a dose of a medicine they couldnt have, and so the men replied like absolute douches by burning them all on a stake.
Fucking hell, its no wonder no aliens who know better than we do haven't come by for a tea party, looking at the history of humans and all the inconceivably dumb and brutal acts weve comitted probably makes us the laughing stock of the entire fucking universe. I know somewhere across the timeless expanse of space some innocent alien teenager watching EARTH on the outsider channel is going to be laughing his first laugh of evil when we eventually blow ourselves up like unspeakable twats, his evil will be shortly followed by a sigh of relief that we never invented trans-planetary travel like I predicted we would in Intelligence and then followed by silence as he meditates to cleanse him of such evil thoughts.
If Planet Irk truly exists and the Irken have found out that they were infact right, and that Earth isnt useful even as a giant storage planet for their gratituous amount of snacks, then maybe we can be blessed by the fact we'll get to see an Armada that has topped every warband of ships ever seen, including the Spanish Royal Navy which was burned by "fiery pride" and the Imperial Star Destroyer fleet in star wars, well okay maybe not that.
But still, the Irken Armada is Pretty Impressive and is one of the few times watching local media I've been doubtful that the protagonist was going to fucking win like they tend too.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
6/21/12 - Build 3
Deployed a relatively large bugfix patch for Intelligence 1.1.9.
Patch 1.1.9 (Build 3)
General:
- All JPEG artefacts are now PNG, with the exception of all but one battle background.
- Brisbane got a new battleback, credit to Ronove.
- Introduction and Departure from Earth changed slightly.
- End of Act Bosses now have smaller battlers.
- The Game Launch Icon has changed to something more Iconic.
- Title Screens were modified to contrast less colorwise.
- The ship interface for "Old Ones" in the Introduction has changed colour to make it less seemingly identical to Galaxion console.
- Gameover Inducing buttons removed.
- Gameover PSYCHE removed. Have plans to add it in somewhere later.
- BlueSky changed to VX Ace instead of incompetently put together homestuck cloudscreen.
- A few graphics have changed due to my inability to back shit up.
- Pep's Happy mood face has been changed to something less creepy and irrefusably more charming.
- The Angry and Sad Emotion of the Rolly faceset have been changed to give more charm.
- The Wink, Unamused, Angry and Sad Emotions of Tristy's Facesets have been changed in favour of more charm.
- Changed the faces of most of the Ancient Ones.
- A few bits of flavour text have been changed.
Encounters:
- Heelfoxes in brisbane reduced from 4 to 2.
- Shadow Pixies in Spriteopia down from 8 to 4, the mimics are no longer there and instead simply give one item each.
Bugfixes:
- Fixed an issue with Pep's Elemental Fury ability which would on occasion cause Pep to turn invisible instead of growing, now he has an animation play that maybe slightly familiar.
- Fixed a bug that could be gamebreaking which involved entering gaseous when you werent meant to.
- Fixed a gamebreaking issue with Pyro caused by a missing Tankentai sequence he invoked near the end of battle.
- Fixed the passability of some recently modified events.
- Fixed a bug which may have been causing Galaxia to be un-enterable.
- Fixed a few typos and mistakings, such as Trixie which should be Tristy.
- Safiercat's name should now be fully redacted. Safael should have replaced every form of Safiercat.
- Fixed a bug with Old Mac's Munchies that when exited would drop you out the exit of Kirsill's Kiosk.
- Fixed a Gamebreaking Bug that occured when leaving the training halls in the Necropolis prematurely.
- Probably heaps more I forgot about.
Patch 1.1.9 (Build 3)
General:
- All JPEG artefacts are now PNG, with the exception of all but one battle background.
- Brisbane got a new battleback, credit to Ronove.
- Introduction and Departure from Earth changed slightly.
- End of Act Bosses now have smaller battlers.
- The Game Launch Icon has changed to something more Iconic.
- Title Screens were modified to contrast less colorwise.
- The ship interface for "Old Ones" in the Introduction has changed colour to make it less seemingly identical to Galaxion console.
- Gameover Inducing buttons removed.
- Gameover PSYCHE removed. Have plans to add it in somewhere later.
- BlueSky changed to VX Ace instead of incompetently put together homestuck cloudscreen.
- A few graphics have changed due to my inability to back shit up.
- Pep's Happy mood face has been changed to something less creepy and irrefusably more charming.
- The Angry and Sad Emotion of the Rolly faceset have been changed to give more charm.
- The Wink, Unamused, Angry and Sad Emotions of Tristy's Facesets have been changed in favour of more charm.
- Changed the faces of most of the Ancient Ones.
- A few bits of flavour text have been changed.
Encounters:
- Heelfoxes in brisbane reduced from 4 to 2.
- Shadow Pixies in Spriteopia down from 8 to 4, the mimics are no longer there and instead simply give one item each.
Bugfixes:
- Fixed an issue with Pep's Elemental Fury ability which would on occasion cause Pep to turn invisible instead of growing, now he has an animation play that maybe slightly familiar.
- Fixed a bug that could be gamebreaking which involved entering gaseous when you werent meant to.
- Fixed a gamebreaking issue with Pyro caused by a missing Tankentai sequence he invoked near the end of battle.
- Fixed the passability of some recently modified events.
- Fixed a bug which may have been causing Galaxia to be un-enterable.
- Fixed a few typos and mistakings, such as Trixie which should be Tristy.
- Safiercat's name should now be fully redacted. Safael should have replaced every form of Safiercat.
- Fixed a bug with Old Mac's Munchies that when exited would drop you out the exit of Kirsill's Kiosk.
- Fixed a Gamebreaking Bug that occured when leaving the training halls in the Necropolis prematurely.
- Probably heaps more I forgot about.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Loads of stuff to talk about.
My last entry got deleted by my own stupidity, but I wont bother repeating it, its was a lot of work to type up and half of the things I stated were wrong, but whatever.
My lack of development until recently is due to Diablo III, and its suprisingly real FUN ATTRIBUTE, anyone who tells you they dont get satisfaction out of leaping near a bunch of enemies, setting of an enviromental trap, and watching the nemies take the brunt of it is either a moron, liar or elitist.
Speaking of Elitists, I've become aquainted with a group of them quite recently, apparently there are actually groups of Elitists for RPG maker, who'd have thought, certainly not me or my bro.
These are the kind of elitists who wont play a game if its colours arent pleasing to the eyes or the games thread doesnt meet their satisfaction, but whatever, I don't think an Elitist playing Intelligence would really be a thing I'd want, I mean dont get me wrong, Intelligence is a great fun game with oddball fun characters and awesome cutscenes, but I'm sure that view isn't the same with everybody.
I've shared this game with five sites in total now, sadly the amount of feedback I have come to expect has been far less this patch, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the iEntry revolt is probably the main cause for this, and I've already stated why and my feelings on the matter.
I suppose I could put it on HBgames, its the last BIG rpg maker site that remains, and it may be smaller now.
#RRR isnt a big site nor is it worth posting my game on, besides which I got myself purposefully banned because seriously, fuck those powertripping retards.
Anyone who feels like trying to defend #RRR can do so in the comments section of this post, but I may be inclined by natural instinct to not give a shit.
Moving on, I've been thinking a fair bit lately, about the direction I am gonna go with Intelligence, the art style is okay, albeit a bit fluorescent, but thats nothing I can't fix really easily. my main concern now is with the music and the clouds.
Yes, the sky is getting too me, originally I used Homestucks clouds simply because RPG maker VX only had one clear sky parallax and it looked like a wallpaper for windows 95.
Now that Ace is here, I'll probably use its one, since it is actually different and pretty good.
I think the next thing I need to do is think about removing Homestuck Music from the game entirely, at first I thought it was okay and yeah, sounded awesome, but it still irritates me somehow, maybe because it shows I have a lack of good taste, if so thats a large fucking 'maybe', but I think its just that I prefer how this game used to sound, and I know for a fact I'm not the only one, two friends have commented that they prefered the old track for this or that, and I must say I agree. The battle with Maw used to sound like an actual boss battle, and Nesmose used to sound good, and still does, but in a completely different way.
Nostalgia for a game that is only just over a year old is quite astonishing, and I think I've let homestuck influence my decisions far too much.
Even after removing almost all of the jokes, found a few when my friend was playing, its not enough, but fear not, if your save is up to battling Pyro or just before it, it'll be compatible, since all those areas ulitilze Ratchet and Clank Music, which isnt going anywhere.
I made the 1.1.9 trailer after it came out, instead of before. Its practically a repaint of 1.1's because essentially, thats still the major content patch we are settled on, anyway here it is.
I'll make a point here to inform you all that the game is getting fairly big now, and compression is becoming more required than I'd usually expect, the two maps that seem to zoom out or inn on that a pictures which are 6400x4800 pixels large, so I needed to compress them a lot, as jpegs, so thats what is at fault for their low resolution, there you go.
1.2 is not coming anytime soon, but I can go out on a whim and tell you some of the features.
You'll get to go to Byteopia and explore it in full (atlast) and possibly Galaxia, due to time travel shenanigans.
This is not because I want Homestuck in my game, this is because I'd like people to see Galaxia pre-stoneform.
And since its been centuries since that Planet has had living Galaxions on its surface, this is the only viable method.
This way you dont have to wait for Menagerie to see Galaxia in its prime, since I have no idea on when Menagerie will be released asides from no time soon.
I'm also heavily considering reverting Maw back to his original form, although differently.
And I may as well do Jolt and Pyro while I'm at it. Though Hydro, Blanc and Noir are nothing I need to worry about just yet.
Also on the list of things in Act 3, a decade has passed and Brisbane looks like that bustling city in the trailer. The one with hover cars and shit flying around.
An explanation for how Tristy keeps getting all this costly loot outside her price range.
Three action packed minigames, one after the other, first an attack from Jolt on the skybridge, with cars to dodge, lightning bolts to evade, and opponents to knock off (like the ones in Battle on the Bridge before entering Skykari)
Then you are faced with a grind on the train tracks 5000ft above the air, with falling rail segments, ends of the track which fall off and ofcourse, incoming trains.
Then, a 5000ft skydive back to earth, with missiles locked onto you and happy to obliterate your shit, theres also toast which serves as health pick ups since missiles dont kill you in one hit.
For an explanation on why falling off train tracks 5000ft will end in gameover, but falling down 5000ft off a platform wont is best left to Rolly to explain.
Explanation: He's fat and slow.
Been working on a new style, outlineless this time.
This is probably, one of the best pictures I've ever drawn in MSpaint in my opinion. No outlines, not such a bad fluro red, and his expression is fucking priceless.
Like he has just arrived in a place where the rivers are Red Cordial, the Grass is candy corn, the trees are chocolate, the rainbows are taffy, the clouds are cotton candy, and his appetite is god damn infinite.
Watched 'Bruce Almighty' recently, Morgan Freeman does a good job of playing the part of God, Though I'm sure plenty of stupid christians will disagree with me because Morgan Freeman is black and they're all racist.
Oh, this brings me to another topic, Vocal Minorities, just about every group or order has one or two of these retarded things, so heres the rundown.
In just about every social structure there will be a vocal minority which are often stunningly retarded, belligerent and sometimes revolting.
Most of the christians I know are very nice people, who have no desire to convert me from the 'dark side' because they figure if god is the being of power people tend to make out, then he is in charge of that decision, he doesnt need mortals going around doing his shit.
This is a perfectly respectable viewpoint, and its what the majority of christians have.
Sadly, the vocal minority are unspeakably good at making their entire social order look like belligerent, detestable unimaginable fuckwits who think their opinion is the only one.
The same can be said for most social structures, there's a vocal minority that ruins everything, and then there's the majority who are normal.
This example can be applied to the My Little Pony fanbase as well, a bunch of people started watching it from influence by some who were watching it for facetious purposes, but somehow they got a whole menagerie of people hooked, and those hooked more people, and I was brought in somewhere along the way.
Of the MLP fanbase, only a very small sect are socially retarded, mentally-handicapped, and down right revolting, its the vocal minority rule.
Now people think of these unstable fucks whenever the word brony is used, this is not the case, only a small minority are retarded beyond unspeakable reason. A good part of this minority comes from 4chan, but it isnt just there.
The WoW playerbase is also a good example of the vocal minority rule, those who are happy with the game and arent impossibly stupid --the majority-- dont often find reason to complain, the vocal minority is again, the ones bitching Blizzard wont give them what they want, even though they apparently have.
I'm not sure what irritates me more, the fact Blizzard thinks listening to these clinically retarded basement dwellers is actually an idea of any consideration... or the sheer audacity of these retarded twats.
To emphasize, I stopped playing WoW seriously two years ago, I don't plan on buying MOP, but I dont go advertise why and make a big bitch thread about it, infact, this is the first time I have publicly mentioned I wont be purchasing MOP or that I stopped playing WoW Seriously two years ago.
I am actually in the MOP beta, but its pretty boring currently, but its not my job to tell Blizzard how to fix that, leave that to their retarded minority.
I think this post will have to end here, its getting pretty long.
I'll talk more about Diablo III later.
My lack of development until recently is due to Diablo III, and its suprisingly real FUN ATTRIBUTE, anyone who tells you they dont get satisfaction out of leaping near a bunch of enemies, setting of an enviromental trap, and watching the nemies take the brunt of it is either a moron, liar or elitist.
Speaking of Elitists, I've become aquainted with a group of them quite recently, apparently there are actually groups of Elitists for RPG maker, who'd have thought, certainly not me or my bro.
These are the kind of elitists who wont play a game if its colours arent pleasing to the eyes or the games thread doesnt meet their satisfaction, but whatever, I don't think an Elitist playing Intelligence would really be a thing I'd want, I mean dont get me wrong, Intelligence is a great fun game with oddball fun characters and awesome cutscenes, but I'm sure that view isn't the same with everybody.
I've shared this game with five sites in total now, sadly the amount of feedback I have come to expect has been far less this patch, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the iEntry revolt is probably the main cause for this, and I've already stated why and my feelings on the matter.
I suppose I could put it on HBgames, its the last BIG rpg maker site that remains, and it may be smaller now.
#RRR isnt a big site nor is it worth posting my game on, besides which I got myself purposefully banned because seriously, fuck those powertripping retards.
Anyone who feels like trying to defend #RRR can do so in the comments section of this post, but I may be inclined by natural instinct to not give a shit.
Moving on, I've been thinking a fair bit lately, about the direction I am gonna go with Intelligence, the art style is okay, albeit a bit fluorescent, but thats nothing I can't fix really easily. my main concern now is with the music and the clouds.
Yes, the sky is getting too me, originally I used Homestucks clouds simply because RPG maker VX only had one clear sky parallax and it looked like a wallpaper for windows 95.
Now that Ace is here, I'll probably use its one, since it is actually different and pretty good.
I think the next thing I need to do is think about removing Homestuck Music from the game entirely, at first I thought it was okay and yeah, sounded awesome, but it still irritates me somehow, maybe because it shows I have a lack of good taste, if so thats a large fucking 'maybe', but I think its just that I prefer how this game used to sound, and I know for a fact I'm not the only one, two friends have commented that they prefered the old track for this or that, and I must say I agree. The battle with Maw used to sound like an actual boss battle, and Nesmose used to sound good, and still does, but in a completely different way.
Nostalgia for a game that is only just over a year old is quite astonishing, and I think I've let homestuck influence my decisions far too much.
Even after removing almost all of the jokes, found a few when my friend was playing, its not enough, but fear not, if your save is up to battling Pyro or just before it, it'll be compatible, since all those areas ulitilze Ratchet and Clank Music, which isnt going anywhere.
I made the 1.1.9 trailer after it came out, instead of before. Its practically a repaint of 1.1's because essentially, thats still the major content patch we are settled on, anyway here it is.
1.2 is not coming anytime soon, but I can go out on a whim and tell you some of the features.
You'll get to go to Byteopia and explore it in full (atlast) and possibly Galaxia, due to time travel shenanigans.
This is not because I want Homestuck in my game, this is because I'd like people to see Galaxia pre-stoneform.
And since its been centuries since that Planet has had living Galaxions on its surface, this is the only viable method.
This way you dont have to wait for Menagerie to see Galaxia in its prime, since I have no idea on when Menagerie will be released asides from no time soon.
I'm also heavily considering reverting Maw back to his original form, although differently.
 | |
| Something like this. |
Also on the list of things in Act 3, a decade has passed and Brisbane looks like that bustling city in the trailer. The one with hover cars and shit flying around.
An explanation for how Tristy keeps getting all this costly loot outside her price range.
Three action packed minigames, one after the other, first an attack from Jolt on the skybridge, with cars to dodge, lightning bolts to evade, and opponents to knock off (like the ones in Battle on the Bridge before entering Skykari)
Then you are faced with a grind on the train tracks 5000ft above the air, with falling rail segments, ends of the track which fall off and ofcourse, incoming trains.
Then, a 5000ft skydive back to earth, with missiles locked onto you and happy to obliterate your shit, theres also toast which serves as health pick ups since missiles dont kill you in one hit.
For an explanation on why falling off train tracks 5000ft will end in gameover, but falling down 5000ft off a platform wont is best left to Rolly to explain.
 |
| "Well, its quite simple, when I fall off traintracks against my will I dont have time to make my body a sugar glider" |
 |
| "When I have time to jump by myself though, I can do this, which not only lets me land on my belly, but slows the speed of my fall a little too." |
Been working on a new style, outlineless this time.
 |
| "Do you like red I like red who doesn't like red?" |
Like he has just arrived in a place where the rivers are Red Cordial, the Grass is candy corn, the trees are chocolate, the rainbows are taffy, the clouds are cotton candy, and his appetite is god damn infinite.
Watched 'Bruce Almighty' recently, Morgan Freeman does a good job of playing the part of God, Though I'm sure plenty of stupid christians will disagree with me because Morgan Freeman is black and they're all racist.
Oh, this brings me to another topic, Vocal Minorities, just about every group or order has one or two of these retarded things, so heres the rundown.
In just about every social structure there will be a vocal minority which are often stunningly retarded, belligerent and sometimes revolting.
Most of the christians I know are very nice people, who have no desire to convert me from the 'dark side' because they figure if god is the being of power people tend to make out, then he is in charge of that decision, he doesnt need mortals going around doing his shit.
This is a perfectly respectable viewpoint, and its what the majority of christians have.
Sadly, the vocal minority are unspeakably good at making their entire social order look like belligerent, detestable unimaginable fuckwits who think their opinion is the only one.
The same can be said for most social structures, there's a vocal minority that ruins everything, and then there's the majority who are normal.
This example can be applied to the My Little Pony fanbase as well, a bunch of people started watching it from influence by some who were watching it for facetious purposes, but somehow they got a whole menagerie of people hooked, and those hooked more people, and I was brought in somewhere along the way.
Of the MLP fanbase, only a very small sect are socially retarded, mentally-handicapped, and down right revolting, its the vocal minority rule.
Now people think of these unstable fucks whenever the word brony is used, this is not the case, only a small minority are retarded beyond unspeakable reason. A good part of this minority comes from 4chan, but it isnt just there.
The WoW playerbase is also a good example of the vocal minority rule, those who are happy with the game and arent impossibly stupid --the majority-- dont often find reason to complain, the vocal minority is again, the ones bitching Blizzard wont give them what they want, even though they apparently have.
I'm not sure what irritates me more, the fact Blizzard thinks listening to these clinically retarded basement dwellers is actually an idea of any consideration... or the sheer audacity of these retarded twats.
To emphasize, I stopped playing WoW seriously two years ago, I don't plan on buying MOP, but I dont go advertise why and make a big bitch thread about it, infact, this is the first time I have publicly mentioned I wont be purchasing MOP or that I stopped playing WoW Seriously two years ago.
I am actually in the MOP beta, but its pretty boring currently, but its not my job to tell Blizzard how to fix that, leave that to their retarded minority.
I think this post will have to end here, its getting pretty long.
I'll talk more about Diablo III later.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
The RMVX Revolt, I get a computer, and VX Ace is delivered.
First, I got a brand new computer, custom made by a local IT store, I know i'm ate to the party here, but Windows 7 is awesome and better in Windows XP in almost every conceivable way, there are only two qualms I have with it.
1. Stereo mix is a little difficult to set up.
2. Changing Icons for folders becomes a federal fucking issue.
Number one is also possibly more extradefinitive in my case due to having an add array of headets, which includes a USB headset, a regular Pink and Green Jack headset, and Stereo speakers with only a sound jack.
Number two is probably simply because of my inexperience with Windows 7, Windows XP this was simply a task of right clicking a folder, selecting properties, going to the customize tab, and then going change icon, in windows 7, I'm lucky if i can find that customize tab (now called modify IIRC) which I have gotten to use, but now i cant get it to show the modify tab, its more than likely my own ineptitude with this new operating system, I'm sure I'll figure it out.
Other big news, but that shouldn't come as any massive surprise if you read my last post, is that I have VX Ace, and I'm enjoying doing a bit of work on Menagerie here and there.
So this is the first RPG Maker I've bought, but if you read my previous post, you already knew that.
Work is going well on Intelligence 1.2, remember we have a sister site for each games progress, as well as a link to the site where I have my game hosted, speaking of that such site, theres some news concerning it too.
The RMVX Revolt
I recently came back to the IRC after exiling myself from it, after hearing of a huge revolt against iEntry, which I was all too happy to hear about, apparently shit hit the roof and completely destroyed the fan, iEntry had a spy in our works and was watching us, in a small space of time, Touchfuzzy; one of the most respected Admins of the site, Jalen; a skilled graphics artist and community idol, Crimson; official RMVX Japanophile and a couple others were all banned for barely any reason, I honestly wish I had been there, it sounded like quite an exciting twist, but anyway, to cover up the loss of the admins and their own stupidity, they changed the names of the banned users to randomly generated names and erased their avatars, forgetting that this frees up the name and thus, the members simply made new accounts, and a massive war started between iEntry and RMVX users, the now rather frustrated admins put Celianna in the admins seat, and decided they would migrate to another forum hosting site under a new name, and leave iEntry to dust.
Granted, the RMVX site will still stand, it isnt going anywhere, but a good many of the users will be relocating to a new site once it is up.
A few really cool things happened, when i finally went to the site again, there was a WERE DOING THIS BRO, WERE MAKING IT HAPPEN' on the announcement tab, and after a few seconds, Slam Jam started playing, it was quite magical, even if it was only put up there to serve as he finishing blow in a three year campaign of one-upmanship between the admins of RMVX and iEntry.
Granted, half of this shit could be untrue, not counting the paragraph above since I was there for it. I'm going by what I was told on the IRC, there were a fair few mixed stories, but all ended with the same message that no one wanted to have to deal with iEntry's tedious poppycock anymore.
1. Stereo mix is a little difficult to set up.
2. Changing Icons for folders becomes a federal fucking issue.
Number one is also possibly more extradefinitive in my case due to having an add array of headets, which includes a USB headset, a regular Pink and Green Jack headset, and Stereo speakers with only a sound jack.
Number two is probably simply because of my inexperience with Windows 7, Windows XP this was simply a task of right clicking a folder, selecting properties, going to the customize tab, and then going change icon, in windows 7, I'm lucky if i can find that customize tab (now called modify IIRC) which I have gotten to use, but now i cant get it to show the modify tab, its more than likely my own ineptitude with this new operating system, I'm sure I'll figure it out.
Other big news, but that shouldn't come as any massive surprise if you read my last post, is that I have VX Ace, and I'm enjoying doing a bit of work on Menagerie here and there.
So this is the first RPG Maker I've bought, but if you read my previous post, you already knew that.
Work is going well on Intelligence 1.2, remember we have a sister site for each games progress, as well as a link to the site where I have my game hosted, speaking of that such site, theres some news concerning it too.
The RMVX Revolt
I recently came back to the IRC after exiling myself from it, after hearing of a huge revolt against iEntry, which I was all too happy to hear about, apparently shit hit the roof and completely destroyed the fan, iEntry had a spy in our works and was watching us, in a small space of time, Touchfuzzy; one of the most respected Admins of the site, Jalen; a skilled graphics artist and community idol, Crimson; official RMVX Japanophile and a couple others were all banned for barely any reason, I honestly wish I had been there, it sounded like quite an exciting twist, but anyway, to cover up the loss of the admins and their own stupidity, they changed the names of the banned users to randomly generated names and erased their avatars, forgetting that this frees up the name and thus, the members simply made new accounts, and a massive war started between iEntry and RMVX users, the now rather frustrated admins put Celianna in the admins seat, and decided they would migrate to another forum hosting site under a new name, and leave iEntry to dust.
Granted, the RMVX site will still stand, it isnt going anywhere, but a good many of the users will be relocating to a new site once it is up.
A few really cool things happened, when i finally went to the site again, there was a WERE DOING THIS BRO, WERE MAKING IT HAPPEN' on the announcement tab, and after a few seconds, Slam Jam started playing, it was quite magical, even if it was only put up there to serve as he finishing blow in a three year campaign of one-upmanship between the admins of RMVX and iEntry.
Granted, half of this shit could be untrue, not counting the paragraph above since I was there for it. I'm going by what I was told on the IRC, there were a fair few mixed stories, but all ended with the same message that no one wanted to have to deal with iEntry's tedious poppycock anymore.
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